Letting Go.
Today I finally did realize that I do have to let things go. I do have to stop dwelling on the past. I made some mistakes, put up with being hurt, was used, tried too hard for approval, and tried things that didn't work out. I do have to now let it all go.
Emotional abuse is something that people don't talk about much. Physical and sexual abuse are more commonly addressed. Emotional abuse cuts at the soul. It's the invisible type of abuse. The victim is made to feel inadequate, that nothing he/she does is good enough. There is constant belittling, blaming, criticism. They can't speak up and tell how they feel. Walking on eggshells is a way of life.
I remember my aunt screaming and yelling at my sister and I. She would scream and scream for a long time. Just anything could set her off. My mother had her living with us because she was a single mother. Someone else was there to watch her kids too.
I was driven home from church school by my aunt for a while. There were times when she would scream so loud my ears would pop in the car. She said I was demon-possessed, Satan's agent, going to Hell, etc. She would scream from the church yard, down the highway, and into the house. I would cry and cry so hard I couldn't see anything, being completely blinded by tears. My sister and I would hide under furniture when she was in her rages.
I grew up in a highly restrictive religious atmosphere. I was told it was wrong to wear jewelry, don sleeveless tops, wear cosmetics or drink coffee. I did things out of fear for a while, then later just so I would fit in. It wasn't because I believed in it, but I never dared question things so I would keep fitting in the group.
Over the years I noticed many of the other followers around me loosening up on their restrictions. There are less people caring about many things. I don't hold such conservative views on everything anymore. I realized some things don't matter that much. When a certain group holds traditional morals, they can only matter to that group alone. Other people don't see the same things as moral issues.
The problem with restrictive religious groups is that they don't let people be individuals easily. People are told how to think and act. When things are very restrictive, it can be abusive.
I don't think the faith I grew up in has to be abusive. It's just unfortunate that so many people have been caught up in traditions. Thinking for one's self about issues is important.
Emotional abuse is something that people don't talk about much. Physical and sexual abuse are more commonly addressed. Emotional abuse cuts at the soul. It's the invisible type of abuse. The victim is made to feel inadequate, that nothing he/she does is good enough. There is constant belittling, blaming, criticism. They can't speak up and tell how they feel. Walking on eggshells is a way of life.
I remember my aunt screaming and yelling at my sister and I. She would scream and scream for a long time. Just anything could set her off. My mother had her living with us because she was a single mother. Someone else was there to watch her kids too.
I was driven home from church school by my aunt for a while. There were times when she would scream so loud my ears would pop in the car. She said I was demon-possessed, Satan's agent, going to Hell, etc. She would scream from the church yard, down the highway, and into the house. I would cry and cry so hard I couldn't see anything, being completely blinded by tears. My sister and I would hide under furniture when she was in her rages.
I grew up in a highly restrictive religious atmosphere. I was told it was wrong to wear jewelry, don sleeveless tops, wear cosmetics or drink coffee. I did things out of fear for a while, then later just so I would fit in. It wasn't because I believed in it, but I never dared question things so I would keep fitting in the group.
Over the years I noticed many of the other followers around me loosening up on their restrictions. There are less people caring about many things. I don't hold such conservative views on everything anymore. I realized some things don't matter that much. When a certain group holds traditional morals, they can only matter to that group alone. Other people don't see the same things as moral issues.
The problem with restrictive religious groups is that they don't let people be individuals easily. People are told how to think and act. When things are very restrictive, it can be abusive.
I don't think the faith I grew up in has to be abusive. It's just unfortunate that so many people have been caught up in traditions. Thinking for one's self about issues is important.
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