Keira Brigit Pauline

I have decided that I want to get out of my mother's house by the end of March.  I will be 31 years old next week and I don't want to live with my family.  I don't hate my family, but I am old enough to be on my own and I should be.  I have decided to look into various jobs so I can get some income and move out ASAP.  I have realized that I have changed a lot since I moved out of the house.  I keep changing too.  I don't want to do the same things my family does. I don't agree with them on every issue. I also don't want to attend my home church anymore.  I am still a Christian, yet I don't want to attend the same congregation for many reasons. The two years I spent in Korea were rough.  I made many mistakes.  Yet, I learned from my mistakes. I realized there were many things I needed to change about myself. I did get angry at God over some things that happened to me, but there were some lessons I needed to learn.  I do wish I learned those things earlier.

Last summer I came across an organization called Reece's Rainbow  that helps children with disabilities who are living in orphanages in various countries.  The disabled children in those orphanages usually are transferred to mental institutions when they are 4 or 5 years old. I never knew that happened. Yet many children with down syndrome, cerebral palsy, blindness, deformed limbs, deafness, and cranio-facial deformities are sent to mental institutions once they leave the baby homes.  They are left there to stay until they finally expire.  And many of them die within their first year there due to neglect. It is an atrocity.  I feel that they deserve to be rescued and have loving families. Not everybody can adopt children.  Yet there are things we all can do to help them out.  This charity and some others have grant funds to help families with adoption expenses.  Many would have never been rescued if it wasn't for the grants.  Lives are saved, literally, because they were resc

I have been back for two months now. I think I have been at my mother's home long enough. I am very restless. I want to be on my own again desperately. I don't like the idea of stagnating. I also don't think that a woman in her 30s should be living at her mother's house. I need to move out again. I have heard of a possible English teaching job in Korea. It's not near where I was before, and I would rather be with my friends I made over there.  Yet, I can learn to get used to a new place and blossom there. I could make new friends. Maybe I can really like it.

My mother turned 62 years old on Monday.  She had to take my aunt to Willimantic to see the welfare office. My aunt has lost her health insurance and they had to settle things.  I stayed home.  After a while I decided to take the dogs outside. I walked Benji.  After that I took out Max and Jack.  While I was going back up the street, Jack's leash snapped and he ran up the street.  Thankfully he went into the driveway and stayed out of the street. When I got into my driveway, I tried to call Jack over to me.  He decided to run around the yard in the deep snow.  The snow is up to my knees. I tried walking toward him, but he kept running off.  I did get to walk on top of the snow, but sometimes I sank into it.  I decided to put Max in the house and when I did that, Benji ran out. I quickly grabbed him and put him back. Jack decided he would run around the side of the house and the backyard. He wouldn't come.  The problem is that he isn't afraid of cars. I didn't want hi

I had this book when I was a child. I doubt my mother realised how much of an impact it made on me. This book was about countries around the world. It devoted a few pages to one country, introducing at least fifty countries. It showed pictures of children and dolls in native costumes. The book had pictures of flags, maps, words in various languages to learn, and some activities for each country. There were a few recipes and folk stories for some countries. I spent a lot of time pouring over the pages and wishing I could visit those countries and meet those children. I didn't grow up in an area with lots of diversity. I grew up in a small town that was filled with mostly white people who were of Polish background. The town was a Polish enclave for many years. There was Polish food and music at church festivals every year. I have some Polish blood from my grandfather. I knew I had Polish relatives in town that we didn't know. They never accepted my grandmother who had pa

It was nice to take a break and go home for a while. I left Korea on Dec. 7.  Yet now I am feeling the urgent need to move on. I am going to look for new jobs in Korea. I will also look at study options. I must do it this week. I am not interested in living with my family, even though it will be cheaper. I am almost 31 years old.  I need to be on my own again.