I am glad to see 2009 go. Honestly, I didn't have much of a good year overall.
I left for Korea on December 26, 2008 for my second try at working there. I had worked there from 2005-2006. I missed Korea and was looking for another good experience, hopefully even better than my previous one.
I left my home on Christmas. I had been there for two years, mostly because I was helping my aunt after she had a stroke. I was employed sporadically and was lonely a lot. I told my family I loved them and I left with my sister. I would spend the night at her place before going to the airport in the morning. I went back for something I left behind. My aunt then said to me "don't you say anything about loving us, because if you did you wouldn't be going back to Korea".
Her words stung. I went to my sister's car and fumed about how I hung around to take care of her, helping her dress herself and taking her places. I do realise now that I can't take things she says to heart. Her mind isn't all there and she just didn't want to see me go.
I took a job with a hagwon that taught mostly middle-schoolers. I hated it. I had to be with the children alone, and they were rowdy and disrespectful. I broke my contract in April, but they wouldn't let me leave until the end of June. I later took a job at a high school. The contract ends in June 2010 and I am not going to renew it. I am going to make the best of it, but I am tired of the students sleeping, doing other work, or spacing out rather than listen to me. I do wonder about my purpose there. I have decided I won't work with children ever again.
I am not sure about staying in Korea. I did get accepted to do a graduate programme there in Public Health, and so I will stay around Korea if I am to complete that. I will be 30 years old and I should complete something soon.
I had some bad health. Around July I started having bad acid reflux. I had trouble swallowing food because I was constantly thinking about choking. There is nothing wrong my my throat, yet I did have some corrosion in my esophagus. I have to get over the fear of choking, the acid makes it feel that there is something in my throat. I also had an outbreak of psoriasis all over my body. I now only have it on my legs. I never had it before. It's all because of stress.
In September, Puffy, my sister's cat died. It got ill. Within a week I picked up a stray kitten by the side of the road. It died in just over a week because of breathing problems. A few days later I bought a kitten from a hawker that died in a few days (the idiot didn't take care of it). I soon rescued two more kittens from there, and they survived. I gave them to my mother because they wouldn't let me sleep and they were destroying the one-room apartment I have.
On the positive side, I started taekwondo in July. I did get to do some nice outdoor activities like hiking. I did make some new friends. I like attending the English church at Sahmyook University and going to some Korean churches now and then.
I do hope 2010 will be better for me. I do see the world getting crazier. I do hope things look up in my life. I still want to hold onto my friends, get good grades, and have some good times.
December 31, 2009
December 15, 2009
Books and Cats
Suzy the Scholar Cat!
This is how my books came from www.amazon.com. They were delivered to the local supermarket. I will have stuff delivered to the school from now on.
The cats exploring the box.
Forgiveness
Last weekend I went to the Ilsan English Church to talk to someone who is a counselor. I had to talk about some things. I had a number of things I wanted to let off my chest.
Well, I grew up feeling "different". I had posted about it before. I could read National Geographic at age six and liked reading the World Book Encyclopedia at age 7. I have memories from before the age of two. I was asked if anything was ever done for my talents and I had to say "no". My mother insisted that my sister and I go to church schools, and anything else was out of the question. We never skipped grades because we were constantly changing schools. Well, technically we did skip grades. For third grade and sixth grade I was homeschooled (for my sister it would be second and fifth) and we didn't do much work. We just went to the new grade with no questions asked.
Before I left for Korea again, my aunt was hateful. I left the house on Christmas night to spend the night with my sister. She would take me to the airport in the morning. I told my mother and aunt I loved them. I went outside. I later went back inside because I forgot something. My aunt said to me "Don't you say anything about loving us, because if you did you wouldn't be going back to Korea!". I shut the door and went back to the car. "How could she say that!" I said to my sister. I had been there when she had a stroke. I had taken care of her. I felt so hurt.
I know that my aunt is deteriorating. When I came to Korea, I wondered how long I should stay, thinking about the possibility of her having another stroke. Yet, I will no longer make myself responsible for her.
I did grow up with my aunt saying many things to me that upset me. She had a temper and a short fuse. I really do need to forgive her and move on. I am glad to be halfway around the world now. Yet, I won't ever go back where I came from, I am not interested.
Well, I grew up feeling "different". I had posted about it before. I could read National Geographic at age six and liked reading the World Book Encyclopedia at age 7. I have memories from before the age of two. I was asked if anything was ever done for my talents and I had to say "no". My mother insisted that my sister and I go to church schools, and anything else was out of the question. We never skipped grades because we were constantly changing schools. Well, technically we did skip grades. For third grade and sixth grade I was homeschooled (for my sister it would be second and fifth) and we didn't do much work. We just went to the new grade with no questions asked.
Before I left for Korea again, my aunt was hateful. I left the house on Christmas night to spend the night with my sister. She would take me to the airport in the morning. I told my mother and aunt I loved them. I went outside. I later went back inside because I forgot something. My aunt said to me "Don't you say anything about loving us, because if you did you wouldn't be going back to Korea!". I shut the door and went back to the car. "How could she say that!" I said to my sister. I had been there when she had a stroke. I had taken care of her. I felt so hurt.
I know that my aunt is deteriorating. When I came to Korea, I wondered how long I should stay, thinking about the possibility of her having another stroke. Yet, I will no longer make myself responsible for her.
I did grow up with my aunt saying many things to me that upset me. She had a temper and a short fuse. I really do need to forgive her and move on. I am glad to be halfway around the world now. Yet, I won't ever go back where I came from, I am not interested.
December 13, 2009
Nathan died ten years ago today.
Yes, today marks the tenth anniversary of Nathan's death. He died at Andrews University. I knew him for five years.
I was busy all day because of final exams. I was also cleaning out my dorm room for Christmas break and packing for my trip home. I had heard some information about a car accident, but dismissed the information because I didn't know much about it.
I was happy to finish with my exams because it was some less things I had to think about. I decided to go to bed early I had to leave early in the morning to get a ride with a friend.
I found some students talking in the hallway and they were all sad. They said that the car accident was Nathan's car. I didn't have to be told he died, I just knew. I want to my room and cried hard. I cried and cried for a long time and just wet my pillow. I found that he was out early that morning and went to get blank CDs for a friend of his. The weather was terrible, he should have stayed on campus. He was rushing back to get to an exam. He lost control of his car and it slid into an oncoming bus. The bus was carrying schoolchildren, none of them were badly hurt.
The service was held on Dec. 31, 1999. It was a beautiful service. His academy's choir sang. A friend played a cello solo. There was a table loaded with things of his: baby pictures, his baby blanket, Pathfinder club sash, his car keys with a keychain made of a computer piece, photos of the accident, etc. His computer was set up on the hall where there was a lunch for everyone. His favorite hymns were sang.
Time is a healer. I have moved on with my life, and so has everyone else. For a long time I caught myself looking for him in places where we hung out. I remember the day I met him in 1995, when we were on a lake together in kyaks and he began to splash me with his paddle. Later we went swimming and he threw seaweed at me. He was teasing me. I miss walking around with him and talking about various things. I miss his blue eyes framed by thick glasses (he was blind as a bat without them). I do wish he could have lived and done things with his life. He was so smart and talented.
I will be glad to see him in Heaven someday. I do agree with Hamlet that "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".
I was busy all day because of final exams. I was also cleaning out my dorm room for Christmas break and packing for my trip home. I had heard some information about a car accident, but dismissed the information because I didn't know much about it.
I was happy to finish with my exams because it was some less things I had to think about. I decided to go to bed early I had to leave early in the morning to get a ride with a friend.
I found some students talking in the hallway and they were all sad. They said that the car accident was Nathan's car. I didn't have to be told he died, I just knew. I want to my room and cried hard. I cried and cried for a long time and just wet my pillow. I found that he was out early that morning and went to get blank CDs for a friend of his. The weather was terrible, he should have stayed on campus. He was rushing back to get to an exam. He lost control of his car and it slid into an oncoming bus. The bus was carrying schoolchildren, none of them were badly hurt.
The service was held on Dec. 31, 1999. It was a beautiful service. His academy's choir sang. A friend played a cello solo. There was a table loaded with things of his: baby pictures, his baby blanket, Pathfinder club sash, his car keys with a keychain made of a computer piece, photos of the accident, etc. His computer was set up on the hall where there was a lunch for everyone. His favorite hymns were sang.
Time is a healer. I have moved on with my life, and so has everyone else. For a long time I caught myself looking for him in places where we hung out. I remember the day I met him in 1995, when we were on a lake together in kyaks and he began to splash me with his paddle. Later we went swimming and he threw seaweed at me. He was teasing me. I miss walking around with him and talking about various things. I miss his blue eyes framed by thick glasses (he was blind as a bat without them). I do wish he could have lived and done things with his life. He was so smart and talented.
I will be glad to see him in Heaven someday. I do agree with Hamlet that "it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all".
December 7, 2009
Top Twenty Countries I Want to Visit
Here is a list of the top twenty countries I want to visit. I know the list is very quixotic, so if I had all the time and money at my disposal:
Some other places I think would be nice to visit are:
- Nepal
- Bhutan
- South Africa
- Hong Kong
- North Korea
- Kazakhstan
- Yemen
- United Arab Emirates
- Vietnam
- India
- Australia
- Argentina
- Greece
- Iceland
- New Zealand
- Lithuania
- Poland
- Peru
- Madagascar
This little kingdom in the Himalayas still has living goddesses called "Kumaris". Kathmandu looks like a magnificent old city.
This tiny kingdom only accepts a few thousand visitors every year. The flora and fauna are very exotic. It is a very traditional country.
I have met up with many South Africans in Korea. I had three roommates from SA. I hear about the country a lot, so I am interested in going there.
I met up with a world traveler and he told me Hong Kong was his favourite country. Hong Kong means "fragrant harbour" in Chinese.
Having lived in South Korea for a total of two and a half years, I wonder what is in the neighbouring country. I have heard of Geumgangsan (Gold River Mountain), which is supposed to be beautiful and Baekdusan on the Chinese/NK border. Pyongyang seems interesting and Kaesong as well.
Central Asia is a place I know little about. I do know that the Silk Road ran through there, and the USSR used to be there. Kazakhstan, Tajikstan, Turkmenistan, Kyrzygstan, and Uzbekistan are all nestled together. I think that area is alluring. I have heard good things about Almaty, the capital of Kazakhstan. I know there are more openings for teaching English there.
This little country next to Saudi Arabia is the legendary home of the Queen of Sheba. Sana'a is one of the oldest continually inhabited cities on Earth. (Damascus in Syria is THE oldest). Unfortunately, the country is collapsing on itself because of the problem of qat chewing, which is making zombies out of the populace and is using up a lot of land and water. The place looks intereresting though.
DUBAI!!! Dubai has awesome hotels, a replica of Venice, good shopping, great restaurants, etc etc etc. There is the Palm Project, where an extension of land was made to stick out into the ocean and have hotels, golf courses, and shops built there. Abu Dhabi will eventually have branches of the Louvre and Guggenheim.
This country has the famous boat people. It also has nice mountains and rain forest.
India is a subcontinent with many different cultures in it. There are rhododendron forests, the Taj Mahal, the Tamil region with its nice cuisine...
It's its own continent. I want to visit every continent.
Argentina is known as the Europe of South America. It has a lot of German and Italian culture. Patagonia is a backpacker's paradise. Tierra del Fuego has the southernmost town in the world.
When I was an undergraduate student of English literature, I studied A.E. Stallings. She is an American poet who moved to Greece with her Greek husband. She said that while studying ancient Greek poetry, she read about flowers from different stages of spring blooming at the same time. She thought that it was about a "golden era" that the poems were mentioning. When she visited Greece however, she saw all those flowers blooming at one time in the alpine climate. That would be nice to see.
This land has little crime, lots of history, the land of Sigur Ros and Bjork, and has many hot springs!
The land of Lord of the Rings! I want to see the unwasted pristine beauty of its great mountains and beaches. I would really like to go to the Catlins, a nice national park there.
Vilnius is a bohemian enclave now. I had the privilege of touring a convalecent home that had many Lithuanians. The place was filled with Lithuanian art made from straw. There were many pictures made of straw.
I have ancestors from there. My mother's father's side of the family was Polish. I lived in an old Polish enclave in Webster, Massachusetts.
I want to go to Macchu Picchu, the ancient Incan civilisation.
When I was in high school I took a class in botany. For a project, I had to pick three countries and write about the flora there. I had to choose a few plants that were native to each country and resesarch them. I chose Grenada, India, and Madagascar. The rain forests on that island nation intrigued me because of its abundance of medicinal plants and orchids. The "Star of David" orchid has the longest nectar tube of any flower, and it is pollinated by a moth with the longest proboscis in the world.
Some other places I think would be nice to visit are:
- Provence and Alsace in France. Provence has fields of lavender and Alsace has mountains.
- Saaremaa in Estonia. This little island has an interesting terrain with craters.
- Pompeii. I got enamored with this place after reading a May 1984 edition of "National Geographic". I used to look at that issue a lot in church school.
- Aleutian Islands. Thousands of native Aleuts still live there and Kodiak Island is famous for its wildlife.
- Petra. This ancient city is made out of rose-coloured rock.
- Antarctica. There are Antarctic cruises out there (probably mostly for people who want to visit every continent). Penguins, whales, seals, krill--there is some life in that place.
December 6, 2009
Last Weekend
Last Saturday I stayed at the high school where I work. I had to do the English Sabbath School in the morning. I wasn't supposed to do it, but the person who was to do it had to do something else. I therefore wasn't able to attend the English church later. I thought of trying to go to the English church to join a group that would be going to a Korean church later. There was a meal at my high school for the staff, and I was very tired. I decided to eat lunch and then just go home and take a nap. I was also too tired to go anywhere on Saturday night.
On Sunday I got up and went to the COEX Mall. I wanted to leave earlier, but I had no sleep. My cats woke me up and my neighbors were loud. My Americans across the hall came back late and were loud. The Korean man next to me had his TV blaring. I left and browsed the book store for some books to use in English classes and to learn Korean. I quickly went home to return a cat I have been watching for someone. I got the cat and quickly went to meet my friend to hand it over. I do feel it is best to give it back, even though the owner said I could keep it. Having three cats is too much for my little space.
I had dinner over the home of Michael and Miriam, who teach Public Health at the university. Maike and Ronda were also there. I stayed later and talked with Miriam. She said that we will have anatomy and physiology as a class next semester, and the class will involve real cadavers. Wow. I told her about my trip to Myanmar. She said we should try to go there next year, do a Thailand, Myanmar, and Hong Kong trip. Sounds like fun to me. I should contact my friend and make arrangements with her acquaintance in Myanmar.
I have been very tired, stressed out, and anxious lately. I really need a vacation.
On Sunday I got up and went to the COEX Mall. I wanted to leave earlier, but I had no sleep. My cats woke me up and my neighbors were loud. My Americans across the hall came back late and were loud. The Korean man next to me had his TV blaring. I left and browsed the book store for some books to use in English classes and to learn Korean. I quickly went home to return a cat I have been watching for someone. I got the cat and quickly went to meet my friend to hand it over. I do feel it is best to give it back, even though the owner said I could keep it. Having three cats is too much for my little space.
I had dinner over the home of Michael and Miriam, who teach Public Health at the university. Maike and Ronda were also there. I stayed later and talked with Miriam. She said that we will have anatomy and physiology as a class next semester, and the class will involve real cadavers. Wow. I told her about my trip to Myanmar. She said we should try to go there next year, do a Thailand, Myanmar, and Hong Kong trip. Sounds like fun to me. I should contact my friend and make arrangements with her acquaintance in Myanmar.
I have been very tired, stressed out, and anxious lately. I really need a vacation.
December 1, 2009
Going Home
Soon I will be visiting "home" for two weeks. I am a bit reluctant to call it home. Korea has become my home for now. I don't plan on returning to my old town for good. I have decided that I may stay abroad for many years, possibly for life. However, I have thought of studying in the USA again, but that woulnd't mean won't make plans to leave the USA later.
I don't have the faith in my country as I was raised to have it. I was raised with the notion that the United States is the "best" country in the world, everybody wanted to live there, and that that the US of A had the biggest and best of everything. How wrong that was. I moved away from that mentality and decided to explore the globe. If I didn't, I would be bissfully ignorant and trying to live it up the American way, happily thinking that I wouldn't need to see the world outside the borders. Yet I became a traveler, a seeker, and it is something I will never get over.
I am happy to go visit so that I can see some family and friends. I am looking forward to going to my home church and seeing everyone. I am also looking forward to visiting Boston and some other places with my sister and friends. I will go shopping for some things that are hard to come by in Korea. I am glad to see the pets that live with my family, four cats and two dogs. Unfortunately one cat died a few months ago. Two others are ancient and don't have long to live.
I do think that if I ever want to settle in the USA again, I most likely would live in either Boston or New York City. Those are very diverse and cultural areas. There is lots of academia, museums, art districts, etc. That would make it worth living there.
I don't have the faith in my country as I was raised to have it. I was raised with the notion that the United States is the "best" country in the world, everybody wanted to live there, and that that the US of A had the biggest and best of everything. How wrong that was. I moved away from that mentality and decided to explore the globe. If I didn't, I would be bissfully ignorant and trying to live it up the American way, happily thinking that I wouldn't need to see the world outside the borders. Yet I became a traveler, a seeker, and it is something I will never get over.
I am happy to go visit so that I can see some family and friends. I am looking forward to going to my home church and seeing everyone. I am also looking forward to visiting Boston and some other places with my sister and friends. I will go shopping for some things that are hard to come by in Korea. I am glad to see the pets that live with my family, four cats and two dogs. Unfortunately one cat died a few months ago. Two others are ancient and don't have long to live.
I do think that if I ever want to settle in the USA again, I most likely would live in either Boston or New York City. Those are very diverse and cultural areas. There is lots of academia, museums, art districts, etc. That would make it worth living there.
November 27, 2009
Thanksgiving.
I went to a Thanksgiving dinner at a nearby church last night. I had some corn, mashed potatoes, cranberry sauce, macaroni, and pumpkin pie. I also tried some sweet potato casserole for the first time. It's a Southern specialty. I liked it.
I do think I have a lot to be thankful for.
I got the idea to write a list of things to be thankful for from another blogger friend. I am thankful for:
I do think I have a lot to be thankful for.
I got the idea to write a list of things to be thankful for from another blogger friend. I am thankful for:
- loved ones
- the opportunity to travel
- rainbows, prisms, crystals
- my cats
- the smell of the ocean
- Christmas lights
- snowflakes
- Crocheting, knitting and other handicrafts
- bookstores and libraries
- incense
- art museums and galleries
- vintage films
- vintage photography
- sandy beaches
- sunsets and sunrises (I want someday to see the aurora borealis or aurora australis)
- making new friends
- learning martial arts
- playing musical instruments
- being accepted into graduate school
- walking, talking, seeing, hearing, touch, taste, smell
- Music: nearly any kind
- Having a support system here in Korea that is like family
- Flowers of all kinds. I love botanical gardens a lot.
November 22, 2009
Sabzi art
I love this man's art. I love all the pinks and reds in it.
"The Crossing"
"Temptation"
"Sonata"
"Two Dimensions"
"The Crossing"
"Temptation"
"Sonata"
"Two Dimensions"
Mind Control, George Carlin on
This is from a series of videos called "The Arrivals" on Youtube. This is about mind control in the media. Explicit language.
November 21, 2009
November 20, 2009
Max Perutz quote
Max Perutz won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1962 for discovering the third-dimensional structure of hemoglobin. He still didn't understand how hemoglobin carried oxygen throughout the body. He still pondered that thought. At the prize ceremony he stated:
"Please forgive me for presenting, on such a great occasion, results which are still in the making. But the glaring sunlight of certain knowledge is dull, and one feels most exhilarated by the twilight and expectancy of dawn".
Perutz lived to be 87 years old and worked long after he could have fully retired. He was always looking to discover new things.
That's what I want to do, never stop exploring and pondering.
"Please forgive me for presenting, on such a great occasion, results which are still in the making. But the glaring sunlight of certain knowledge is dull, and one feels most exhilarated by the twilight and expectancy of dawn".
Perutz lived to be 87 years old and worked long after he could have fully retired. He was always looking to discover new things.
That's what I want to do, never stop exploring and pondering.
November 18, 2009
How to feel better about yourself
1. Stop worrying about what others think.
2. Do things because you want to.
3. Give up the image.
4. Know what makes you unique.
5. Be clear about what makes you happy.
6. Know your emotional triggers.
7. Act on what you know is right.
8. Have an opinion and express it.
9. Let others see you.
10. Never apologise for being you.
2. Do things because you want to.
3. Give up the image.
4. Know what makes you unique.
5. Be clear about what makes you happy.
6. Know your emotional triggers.
7. Act on what you know is right.
8. Have an opinion and express it.
9. Let others see you.
10. Never apologise for being you.
November 17, 2009
I miss the good cartoons
When I was a kid I used to come home from school and watch Animaniacs and Tiny Toon Adventures. I still remember a lot of the episodes I saw. I don't think the cartoons they make now are as good. Yu-gi-oh and Pokemon don't cut it.
Pinky and the Brain were my favourite characters from Animaniacs. The two lovable mice that want to take over the world were funny. I loved how Brain would often say "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Of course Pinky, the dimwit, would always say something irrelevant like "yes, sure, how would we get pink tutus for both of us?" Those were the days.
Here's Pinky and the Brain singing "Brainstem" which is about brain anatomy.
Here is Plucky Duck singing about arcade games to Tchaikovsky's "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" and "Russian Dance".
Pinky and the Brain were my favourite characters from Animaniacs. The two lovable mice that want to take over the world were funny. I loved how Brain would often say "Are you pondering what I'm pondering?" Of course Pinky, the dimwit, would always say something irrelevant like "yes, sure, how would we get pink tutus for both of us?" Those were the days.
Here's Pinky and the Brain singing "Brainstem" which is about brain anatomy.
Here is Plucky Duck singing about arcade games to Tchaikovsky's "Dance of the Sugarplum Fairy" and "Russian Dance".
November 15, 2009
Some very big instruments
Contrabass saxophone blues
Contrabass flute
Sub-contrabass flute!! OH MY!!! There is supposedly only one in the world.
Contrabassoon
"Everything Went Numb" on contralto clarinet
Contrabass Sarrusophone
I think this is so funky.
Contrabass French Horn:
Contrabass flute
Sub-contrabass flute!! OH MY!!! There is supposedly only one in the world.
Contrabassoon
"Everything Went Numb" on contralto clarinet
Contrabass Sarrusophone
I think this is so funky.
Contrabass French Horn:
November 11, 2009
What is Success?
I used an essay topic for my higher level students this week. It was a discussion on what makes a successful life. It used cooking as a metaphor for a recipe for a successful life. As people like different cuisines, they also enjoy different lifestyles. What would be an interesting life for one person would be boring for someone else. We all have an idea of what is a recipe for success, and we have different proportions of things we want in life. Some of us want more education, others more travel, etc.
I asked the students what was most important to them for success. Most of them said "Money". There were many girls who said "Family". It shows the different values of the sexes here. We agreed that education is important to reach goals. Education is highly valued in this culture.
I thought about what I have deemed success. I must be honest with myself.
1. Travel. Ever since I was a young child I have wanted to travel the globe.
2. Education. I would like to pursue advanced degrees. I know I have the brains for it, I just need to make myself do it.
3. Having relationships. I do want to have good times with friends. I want to be able to talk about different things. Having support is also good.
4. I also would like a good spiritual life as well.
Hmmm. I do have to think about what sort of proportions I want in my recipe for life.
I asked the students what was most important to them for success. Most of them said "Money". There were many girls who said "Family". It shows the different values of the sexes here. We agreed that education is important to reach goals. Education is highly valued in this culture.
I thought about what I have deemed success. I must be honest with myself.
1. Travel. Ever since I was a young child I have wanted to travel the globe.
2. Education. I would like to pursue advanced degrees. I know I have the brains for it, I just need to make myself do it.
3. Having relationships. I do want to have good times with friends. I want to be able to talk about different things. Having support is also good.
4. I also would like a good spiritual life as well.
Hmmm. I do have to think about what sort of proportions I want in my recipe for life.
November 9, 2009
November 8, 2009
Why Why Why
Today I heard from an old classmate from middle school. My former classmate dropped out of high school because she got pregnant. Thankfully, she later got a job with an ambulance crew. She is a single mother with three daughters. Her oldest child has leukemia. She is going through lots of chemotherapy. Shame. The father has nothing to do with his children and never sends any money. This is the message as was typed:
"i found him, and talked for a little. i asked him flat out if she ever need bonemarow would he ever help. his answer was pretty much if i don't have to pay child support."
"ive realized as a single parent that sometimes its better not to have the other one around. I just have to find a way to tell destine when she gets older that her dad knew that she was going through cemo. and could care less."
How cold. It disgusts me how someone could be so uncaring. Not sending any money is despicable, yet showing little care to see if he can help with marrow donation is beyond that. Any good father would quickly find out if he's a match so he could help her if he had to.
It reminds me of my father. He left when I was two years old. Really, I wasn't yet two, it was nine days before my birthday. He never made any contact except to later say that the divorce was finalised and he was getting married to his new woman.
I met up with my sperm donor, er "father" when I was 21. Some relatives from that side of the family worked at the college I attended. He came to visit them, and that's how I got to finally meet him. He acted all happy to see me, but I could tell it was a facade. I did get to talk a little to him, it did feel good, yet I knew that I would never see him again after that. I haven't. The e-mails stopped after a few months. I never cried over it, yet two weeks after the meeting I shaved my head completely bald.
I do believe it's better not to have someone around who doesn't care.
"i found him, and talked for a little. i asked him flat out if she ever need bonemarow would he ever help. his answer was pretty much if i don't have to pay child support."
"ive realized as a single parent that sometimes its better not to have the other one around. I just have to find a way to tell destine when she gets older that her dad knew that she was going through cemo. and could care less."
How cold. It disgusts me how someone could be so uncaring. Not sending any money is despicable, yet showing little care to see if he can help with marrow donation is beyond that. Any good father would quickly find out if he's a match so he could help her if he had to.
It reminds me of my father. He left when I was two years old. Really, I wasn't yet two, it was nine days before my birthday. He never made any contact except to later say that the divorce was finalised and he was getting married to his new woman.
I met up with my sperm donor, er "father" when I was 21. Some relatives from that side of the family worked at the college I attended. He came to visit them, and that's how I got to finally meet him. He acted all happy to see me, but I could tell it was a facade. I did get to talk a little to him, it did feel good, yet I knew that I would never see him again after that. I haven't. The e-mails stopped after a few months. I never cried over it, yet two weeks after the meeting I shaved my head completely bald.
I do believe it's better not to have someone around who doesn't care.
November 5, 2009
Yesterday
Yesterday I went to the doctor at Hoegi between classes and had my stitches removed. I had a biopsy done the week before to see what my skin condition was. The doctor said it's psoriasis. I still have some of it on my upper arms and legs, trunk, and face. I have been wearing cover-up on my face and wearing enough other makeup to sort of detract attention from the marks on my cheeks.
I went back to taekwondo after being gone for nearly two weeks. I went to the second class. I felt a bit out of step because I was very tired. I am still a white belt, so it will still take some time to get very skilled at everything. I found that two people are leaving the dojang. One young man is going to the military. I recalled that he told me that before. Also, an American woman is leaving too. I was surprised to find that out. She decided to test for her black belt that day. We all stayed later for her to test. She did get her black belt. I could tell she was nervous. She tried again and again to break 5 boards with her fist, and succeeded in breaking three of them. I am happy that she got her black belt. It's great to get a black belt in Korea. I think it's something I would like to do.
We all had some fun with the boards later, fooling around with them and breaking the pieces of previously broken ones. I got to break my first board. A friend held it and I struck it with my fist. I am pleased that I broke the board on my first try.
I went back to taekwondo after being gone for nearly two weeks. I went to the second class. I felt a bit out of step because I was very tired. I am still a white belt, so it will still take some time to get very skilled at everything. I found that two people are leaving the dojang. One young man is going to the military. I recalled that he told me that before. Also, an American woman is leaving too. I was surprised to find that out. She decided to test for her black belt that day. We all stayed later for her to test. She did get her black belt. I could tell she was nervous. She tried again and again to break 5 boards with her fist, and succeeded in breaking three of them. I am happy that she got her black belt. It's great to get a black belt in Korea. I think it's something I would like to do.
We all had some fun with the boards later, fooling around with them and breaking the pieces of previously broken ones. I got to break my first board. A friend held it and I struck it with my fist. I am pleased that I broke the board on my first try.
November 3, 2009
Canon of the Three Stars
This is an arrangement by the Japanese composer Isao Tomita. This video has pictures from The Little Prince. It is one of the best children's stories of all time.
November 2, 2009
Things to do When I Visit the USA
There are some things I want to do when I visit the USA for two weeks over December/January. First, I want to go through my things. I want to get rid of some clothes and books that I won't use. I want to see if I can sell some of the books at the largest bookstore in the world--The Yantic Book Barn. It has 300,000 new and used books. I am sure it's like going into the world's largest candy store.
I also want to go to Victoria's Station Cafe, my old haunt. I know I want to sit by their fireplace and pick up random things from their bookshelves, most likely a Harvard Classic or a National Geographic.
I do want to go to my home church and see the church members that I have known for most of my life. I will be happy to see them. They have been like my real family.
I do know I will go to Boston with my sister and my friend Michelle. I want to go see her. I am not sure what we will do, probably eat at Uno's or Bertucci's (Boston has great Italian food) and maybe go to the theatre or a museum.
I do want to go to New York City if I can. I really like Manhattan. I think I'd want to go to Times Square and some other attractions. Truthfully, there is so much in New York City that I want to see and do that I would have to spend many weeks there to do it all.
Some ideas are:
The Hayden Planetarium: It has an IMAX on the ocean off South Africa's coast, poisoned arrow toad vivarium, butterfly exhibit...
The Morgan Library: It has special Puccini and William Blake exhibits.
The Museum of Modern Art (MoMA): There are some of Monet's "waterlily" paintings on display.
The Neue Gallery: There is an exhibit called "From Klimt to Klee" that's on until February.
It all depends on what other people with me want to see.
Some things I eventually want to see there are Ellis Island, The Jewish Museum, The Museum of Contemporary Art, The Museum of the Moving Image, The photography museum, The Museum of Sex, and The Cloisters (which is a recreation of a medieval monastery), and some botanical gardens there.
I also want to go to Victoria's Station Cafe, my old haunt. I know I want to sit by their fireplace and pick up random things from their bookshelves, most likely a Harvard Classic or a National Geographic.
I do want to go to my home church and see the church members that I have known for most of my life. I will be happy to see them. They have been like my real family.
I do know I will go to Boston with my sister and my friend Michelle. I want to go see her. I am not sure what we will do, probably eat at Uno's or Bertucci's (Boston has great Italian food) and maybe go to the theatre or a museum.
I do want to go to New York City if I can. I really like Manhattan. I think I'd want to go to Times Square and some other attractions. Truthfully, there is so much in New York City that I want to see and do that I would have to spend many weeks there to do it all.
Some ideas are:
The Hayden Planetarium: It has an IMAX on the ocean off South Africa's coast, poisoned arrow toad vivarium, butterfly exhibit...
The Morgan Library: It has special Puccini and William Blake exhibits.
The Museum of Modern Art (MoMA): There are some of Monet's "waterlily" paintings on display.
The Neue Gallery: There is an exhibit called "From Klimt to Klee" that's on until February.
It all depends on what other people with me want to see.
Some things I eventually want to see there are Ellis Island, The Jewish Museum, The Museum of Contemporary Art, The Museum of the Moving Image, The photography museum, The Museum of Sex, and The Cloisters (which is a recreation of a medieval monastery), and some botanical gardens there.
October 31, 2009
Quarter-life Crisis
I went to church today at the university. I was invited to go to a baptism social by some friends from Australia. I had a good time talking with some people there. I finally met up with Jonathan, someone I worked with at another school. He was happy to see me. He asked me what I did when I was in the USA. I told him I worked and spent time taking care of my aunt who had a stroke. I know he got his master's degree in English while he was away from Korea. I could have gotten a master's as well, yet things didn't work out for me to go. I am actually glad I didn't get my master's in teaching because I decided I don't want to work with children as a career. In a sense, it was a blessing.
I have been wondering what to do with myself. I recently came across someone on facebook that I had met many years ago. I had remembered her name because we had many mutual acquaintances.
I had met her years ago when I was about eight years old. She was a friend of my schoolteacher's. She had spent a year abroad teaching schoolchildren on an island called "Truk" (Chuuk) in Micronesia. She brought in many picture slides, some coconut bowls, and even a grass skirt for the students to try on. I was fascinated. Right then I decided I wanted to spend time overseas. I wanted to help people. That was a goal I held onto since then.
I was pleased to finally take the opportunity to tell her how much that day had changed my life. It is amazing that sometimes one small experience can alter someone's life's course.
Lately I have been evaluating my time overseas. I came back to Korea nearly 10 months ago. Honestly, I haven't had a good year. I worked at a hagwon for 6 months and I hated it. I hated it more than any job I have ever done. I decided that I won't work with young children again. I also reconsidered ever becoming a parent. I am now working at a high school, which is a lot better. Yet, my health has been declining since I started. I have been having acid reflux and have recently had a skin condition and a type of flu. It wasn't swine flu though. I think it's related to stress.
I have been thinking of what to do with the rest of my life. I have still been dreaming of going to other places. I have thought of the Philippines, Africa, South America, etc. I want to study some more. I have thought of public health, which would give me something to do in other places. There is a programme here in Korea for that, which meets on Sundays, and it looks interesting. The problem I have with that is it's the only day of the week I have to do things.
I will be 30 years old next year. I envy those who already have master's degrees. I just have to pray about things and think about them, as to what to do next.
I have been wondering what to do with myself. I recently came across someone on facebook that I had met many years ago. I had remembered her name because we had many mutual acquaintances.
I had met her years ago when I was about eight years old. She was a friend of my schoolteacher's. She had spent a year abroad teaching schoolchildren on an island called "Truk" (Chuuk) in Micronesia. She brought in many picture slides, some coconut bowls, and even a grass skirt for the students to try on. I was fascinated. Right then I decided I wanted to spend time overseas. I wanted to help people. That was a goal I held onto since then.
I was pleased to finally take the opportunity to tell her how much that day had changed my life. It is amazing that sometimes one small experience can alter someone's life's course.
Lately I have been evaluating my time overseas. I came back to Korea nearly 10 months ago. Honestly, I haven't had a good year. I worked at a hagwon for 6 months and I hated it. I hated it more than any job I have ever done. I decided that I won't work with young children again. I also reconsidered ever becoming a parent. I am now working at a high school, which is a lot better. Yet, my health has been declining since I started. I have been having acid reflux and have recently had a skin condition and a type of flu. It wasn't swine flu though. I think it's related to stress.
I have been thinking of what to do with the rest of my life. I have still been dreaming of going to other places. I have thought of the Philippines, Africa, South America, etc. I want to study some more. I have thought of public health, which would give me something to do in other places. There is a programme here in Korea for that, which meets on Sundays, and it looks interesting. The problem I have with that is it's the only day of the week I have to do things.
I will be 30 years old next year. I envy those who already have master's degrees. I just have to pray about things and think about them, as to what to do next.
October 26, 2009
October 22
On October 22 there was a dedication ceremony for the new school building. Some old classroom buildings were removed.
Sunise
Late-blooming roses
Sunise
Late-blooming roses
October 24, 2009
Most Kissable People Contest:
A friend of mine posted a challenge on his blog: give the names of five men and five women you would like to kiss. Honestly, I can't come up with a definite ten people. First, it's not something I have thought of much. Who to kiss? I don't know. I am not gay or bisexual (he says he's not either), yet I can think of women I would kiss if I had to.
For women:
Madonna. She has always had that sexy aura about her even though she's older now. I heard there's a French saying that is "women are like wines, they get better as they age". I think that can be true to an extent. Ann-Margaret and Sophia Loren are women who looked sexy in their later years.
"Open Your Heart to Me" was very sexy. I can't find the official video.
Bettie Page. She was the iconic pin-up girl in the 1950s. The jet-black hair and the pale skin was a great combination.
Jennifer Connoly. I loved her in Labyrinth as a kid. She had nice long hair, was interested in fantasy, and was very fun.
The girls from T.A.T.U. It turns out they weren't gay after all, yet they did some sensual "lesbian" things in their debut.
Men:
Elijah Wood. He was one sexy hobbit. I have a hobbit fetish.
(Reuters)
Leonardo di Caprio. He was just too hot in "Titanic".
Matt Damon. He was in "Good Will Hunting".
Colin Firth
I have been a Sarah Brightman fan for many years. My sister and I collected eight of her albums when we still collected a lot of CDs. This duet with Jose Cura is a nice love song. I think he's kissable too!
For women:
Madonna. She has always had that sexy aura about her even though she's older now. I heard there's a French saying that is "women are like wines, they get better as they age". I think that can be true to an extent. Ann-Margaret and Sophia Loren are women who looked sexy in their later years.
"Open Your Heart to Me" was very sexy. I can't find the official video.
Bettie Page. She was the iconic pin-up girl in the 1950s. The jet-black hair and the pale skin was a great combination.
Jennifer Connoly. I loved her in Labyrinth as a kid. She had nice long hair, was interested in fantasy, and was very fun.
The girls from T.A.T.U. It turns out they weren't gay after all, yet they did some sensual "lesbian" things in their debut.
Men:
Elijah Wood. He was one sexy hobbit. I have a hobbit fetish.
(Reuters)Leonardo di Caprio. He was just too hot in "Titanic".
Matt Damon. He was in "Good Will Hunting".
Colin Firth
I have been a Sarah Brightman fan for many years. My sister and I collected eight of her albums when we still collected a lot of CDs. This duet with Jose Cura is a nice love song. I think he's kissable too!
October 21, 2009
October 13, 2009
Cosmos Festival
I went to a Cosmos festival yesterday in Guri. It was near the Han River. Ther were booths for crafts, food, information, and wares. There were also some entertainers there as well.
October 10, 2009
Nobel Prizes
Here are some videos from the University of Nottingham on Nobel Prizes. The staff there have received letters from the Nobel Prize committee, asking them to nominate people for the prize.
I still don't understand why Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize. I think it was rigged. He didn't do enough things in office to win that prize. He hasn't even been in office for one year! I do wonder who and how Obama was selected as a prize-winner for the peace prize.
In college I went to see V.S. Naipaul, just after he won the Nobel Prize in Literature. He spoke in front of a crowd of over 600 people at the Boston Public Library. He answered questions from the audience. I do remember him saying that he preferred to read things that would make him learn something, as opposed to simply for entertainment. He also said that it would be better for students to obtain science degrees these days, because arts degrees have become too easy to get. He said it was difficult for him to say all that because Boston is such a large educational centre. There are about 51 colleges and universities in the metropolitan area. For an example, he said that many years ago English majors would have to study Old English, and now that isn't required.
Nobel Prize in Physics about fibre-optic cables:
That is from the Youtube channel "Sixty Symbols" which is on physics. It has videos filmed a the University of Nottingham in England.
Nobel Prize in Chemistry on x-ray crystallography:
This video is from "Periodic Videos", another Youtube channel from the University of Nottingham.
I still don't understand why Obama got the Nobel Peace Prize. I think it was rigged. He didn't do enough things in office to win that prize. He hasn't even been in office for one year! I do wonder who and how Obama was selected as a prize-winner for the peace prize.
In college I went to see V.S. Naipaul, just after he won the Nobel Prize in Literature. He spoke in front of a crowd of over 600 people at the Boston Public Library. He answered questions from the audience. I do remember him saying that he preferred to read things that would make him learn something, as opposed to simply for entertainment. He also said that it would be better for students to obtain science degrees these days, because arts degrees have become too easy to get. He said it was difficult for him to say all that because Boston is such a large educational centre. There are about 51 colleges and universities in the metropolitan area. For an example, he said that many years ago English majors would have to study Old English, and now that isn't required.
Nobel Prize in Physics about fibre-optic cables:
That is from the Youtube channel "Sixty Symbols" which is on physics. It has videos filmed a the University of Nottingham in England.
Nobel Prize in Chemistry on x-ray crystallography:
This video is from "Periodic Videos", another Youtube channel from the University of Nottingham.
October 9, 2009
Obama Wins Nobel Peace Prize
I don't think he deserved it. I do think his foreign policy is better than Bush's, yet I don't think he has done enough to be put on the history books as a Nobel Prize winner. I am sure there are many who have done more and could get that. I do find it shocking.
October 7, 2009
Second Kitten Dies
I buried the kitten, Zoey, on Saturday afternoon. It developed breathing problems and died. It died at the vet's. Thankfully he didn't charge me for the overnight stay. I was saddened because I had just lost a cat that I had left behind in the USA. It got ill and died. I was happy to find that kitten because of the loss of the first cat.
On Monday I went to the street market and rescued a kitten for 10,000 won. It was in a cage and was malnourished. I immediately brought it to the vet. It was there a few days and I visited it once. I found out today that it too, died. It had many parasites. I thought it was going to be fine. The vet said it was playful (it was), and that it could be healthy later. Well, the parasites were too much. I am not too saddened because I never got to have a relationship with this one. But I am beside myself. I am emotionally drained. When work gets out I will pick up the carrier. I really don't think I am ready to take in any more animals, especially foundlings, for a while.
On Monday I went to the street market and rescued a kitten for 10,000 won. It was in a cage and was malnourished. I immediately brought it to the vet. It was there a few days and I visited it once. I found out today that it too, died. It had many parasites. I thought it was going to be fine. The vet said it was playful (it was), and that it could be healthy later. Well, the parasites were too much. I am not too saddened because I never got to have a relationship with this one. But I am beside myself. I am emotionally drained. When work gets out I will pick up the carrier. I really don't think I am ready to take in any more animals, especially foundlings, for a while.
October 6, 2009
Meet Me At the World's Fair!
Next year the World's Fair will be held in Shanghai, China from May 1 to October 31. I should go to it. I should take this chance. I have wanted to go to a World's Fair for many years. There will also be a specialised World's Fair in Yeosu, Korea in 2012. It will be about the world's oceans. I would like to see that one if I can.
October 4, 2009
October 3, 2009
Goodbye, Zoey. Rest in Peace
Zoey and her friend.
I just finished burying Zoey. I only had her for just more than a week. I am sad. She developed a breathing problem.
I had picked her up while walking home on Thursday night. I took her to the vet the next day for shots and a check-up. I thought she would be a good pet for me. I had just lost a pet and felt that it was a stroke of Providence to find a new pet so quickly.
On Tuesday I left for a teacher's training session and left some food out for my cats. I was away for two nights. When I came back on Thursday afternoon, I noticed the kitten was breathing heavily. I called the vet and brought her over. He said she had the cat flu and gave her some shots and said to come back over the next few days so she could get the medicine. He said it wasn't serious.
On Friday I brought her in again and told the vet she hadn't ate anything. It was true. He gave her some more medicine and said some of it was for her appetite to get better. In the afternoon she still hadn't ate more than a few bites of food. I decided to call the vet again. He took an X-ray and said she had some trauma. She must have fell. He took her in to stay. He would give her oxygen and would give her medicines. She would have a 50/50 chance of surviving.
On Saturday morning I went to church and turned my phone on to vibrate during the service. As soon as we were walking out of the sanctuary, my phone vibrated. It was the vet. I took off down the stairs and talked. The vet said that Zoey had passed. I felt sad, but kept my composure. I went back upstairs to return my hymnal and shake a few hands. I quickly left.
I called my family from my cellphone and talked to my aunt. I got into a taxi and then went to the vet's. I picked up the cat carrier and Zoey's body. I wanted to bury her. The vet had her wrapped in tissue paper. I saw her yellow eyes now cloudy. Her little body with its scrapes that had been healing. I shed some tears. The vet said I didn't have to pay for it all. I thanked him and walked home. I buried Zoey next to the apartment building, where I already buried a hedgehog last month. I am saddened that I didn't get to know her well. At least she had a warm place to sleep for about a week and some good food, and someone to love her.
September 25, 2009
New Kitten
I brought the new kitten that I found last night to the vet today. Thankfully there is one very near my home. I am glad I got to have it taken care of within 24 hours. I had it cleaned as it was filthy. It has some fur missing near its ear and a scrape near its front leg. The kitten is about 3 months old. I thought it would be younger. It is very malnourished. The kitten got two shots and some worm medicine.
At night it wouldn't come out from under the couch so I put a small dish under it for it to drink out of. It makes a mess when it eats. I am sure it will be fine as a pet because it is still a baby now.
When I got back from the vet's I let it out of the carrier in front of the food dish so it would eat and not run away first. It's very shy and nervous.
September 24, 2009
I found a kitten
Last night I was coming back from taekwondo and I had to walk home from the subway station. I had no more money on my bus/train card. While I was walking home I noticed a tiny black and white kitten by the side of the road. I stopped to pick it up, but it hissed at me and tried to run away. I still took it and I held it. I carried it home and it didn't try to run away. It must be about six weeks old. I have to take it to a vet to make sure it isn't ill. It's still filthy, I have nothing to wash it with and didn't have time for cleaning it anyways because I have had to go to work. I will change that soon. It's mostly been under my couch the entire time it's been in my apartment.
It was Sunday night when I found out that Puffy died. Puffy was only 3 years old. I am happy to find this new kitty.
It was Sunday night when I found out that Puffy died. Puffy was only 3 years old. I am happy to find this new kitty.
September 22, 2009
GERD, Insadong, taekwondo
Yesterday I went to a doctor at Hoegi. I went to find out about not being able to swallow food well. That started July 6. I have thought it could be stress, the summer heat, many things. It looks like I have GERD, or acid reflux disease. That is when acid comes up from the stomach and irritates the esophagus and throat. The spicy Korean food is one thing leading up to that. I also had a lot of stress with my old job. I didn't like it and I felt the job wasn't worth the strain on my physical and mental health. I was there for six months.
After picking up my medication I went to Insadong. I looked around the shops and stuff they sold on the street. I got a few Christmas presents. I poked around a music shop and saw some nice guitars, mandolins, flutes, etc. The concert mandolins had a round back on them. I handled one of them. I don't know how to play one, but they look like fun.I saw many violins and violas. I was surprised to see a lot of ukuleles. I saw an awesome tenor sax that was pewter-coloured and had a flower design etched on it. I also saw a banjo-ukulele that looked interesting.
I later went to taekwondo. I did some sparring. I am not good at it. I learned that one advantage of my height (short!) is that I can be quicker.
After picking up my medication I went to Insadong. I looked around the shops and stuff they sold on the street. I got a few Christmas presents. I poked around a music shop and saw some nice guitars, mandolins, flutes, etc. The concert mandolins had a round back on them. I handled one of them. I don't know how to play one, but they look like fun.I saw many violins and violas. I was surprised to see a lot of ukuleles. I saw an awesome tenor sax that was pewter-coloured and had a flower design etched on it. I also saw a banjo-ukulele that looked interesting.
I later went to taekwondo. I did some sparring. I am not good at it. I learned that one advantage of my height (short!) is that I can be quicker.
September 20, 2009
Puffy
My sister and I just talked on the phone. She said Puffy passed away. She was very distraught. I know the cat meant a lot to her.
Kittens
My sister called me and said her white cat is sick. I do hope it gets better. I would feel bad for her because the cat is her best friend. There are the pictures of her cat Puffy when I first came back from Korea. The other kitten is my Siamese cat Violet. Violet is my baby and I still miss her.
September 19, 2009
Sabbath
I went to vespers on Friday night. I went to the street market earlier and got some fruit and some yarn. I want to make a nice wrap. It will be cold soon.
In the morning I went to the Koreans' student church. There was lots of singing. It made me wish I could speak Korean better.
I later went to Sahmyook University and brought my new guitar with me. My friend Wendy said she would help me learn to play. I went to her and her husband's house for lunch and she had a big crowd there. We talked a lot. I later went home for a nap because everyone was talking and talking and I was getting tired. We can play together another time. I left the instrument with her and she said she'd tune it for me.
I went home and laid down for a while and later went for a walk. I decided to cross the street and go to the village over there. I found a nice used clothing store and Dunkin' Donuts. I'll have to explore the area later. I almost got hit by a car because I was crossing and didn't notice a car so close to me.
I later went to the music concert. The concert featured Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and William Tell Overture. I was thinking of "The Lone Ranger" even though I never watched that show before, just clips.
In the morning I went to the Koreans' student church. There was lots of singing. It made me wish I could speak Korean better.
I later went to Sahmyook University and brought my new guitar with me. My friend Wendy said she would help me learn to play. I went to her and her husband's house for lunch and she had a big crowd there. We talked a lot. I later went home for a nap because everyone was talking and talking and I was getting tired. We can play together another time. I left the instrument with her and she said she'd tune it for me.
I went home and laid down for a while and later went for a walk. I decided to cross the street and go to the village over there. I found a nice used clothing store and Dunkin' Donuts. I'll have to explore the area later. I almost got hit by a car because I was crossing and didn't notice a car so close to me.
I later went to the music concert. The concert featured Beethoven's Fifth Symphony and William Tell Overture. I was thinking of "The Lone Ranger" even though I never watched that show before, just clips.
Blogthings
Your Mind is 89% Cluttered |
 Your mind is incredibly cluttered. You have so much going on in there, it's hard to think straight. Consider talking to a therapist. It's a good idea to sort through your thoughts, if only to see which ones are worth hanging on to. |
Your Quirk Factor: 78% |
 You're so quirky, it's hard for you to tell the difference between quirky and normal. No doubt about it, there's little about you that's "normal" or "average." |
You Are 87% Non Conformist |
 You're incredibly strange. And a weirdness like yours takes skill to cultivate! No one really understands you. And you're cool with that. You just hope you never have to understand them! |
You Were the Brainy Kid |
 In high school, you were acing AP classes or hanging out in the computer lab. You may have been a bit of a geek back then, but now you're a total success! |
September 18, 2009
stuff
They arrested someone in the Yale University slaying. I am glad. I hope that is the real perpetrator. more later...
September 17, 2009
Some Connecticut Murders
There was a Yale student that was recently murdered last week. Her name was Annie Le from California. She was a pharmacology student. When I was in the United States, I lived two hours from Yale. Her body was found on the day she was supposed to be married. That is very sad. I talked to my mother about the case, and she said Miss Le was known to be a genius and "could have been the next Einstein" to put that figuratively. So far nobody has been convicted. I think it's very sad that she had so much potential and didn't get to live up to it. She wasn't sexually assaulted and didn't have valuables on her. The murder must have been done out of revenge or jealousy.
This made me think of another murder of a very intelligent person in Connecticut. Dr. Eugene Mallove was a physicist who was known for his interest in very different theories. He was regarded as an eccentric by some in scientific circles because he dabbled in what was considered "the impossible". One of his theories was "cold fusion" in which nuclear reactions can take place at room temperature. Typically nuclear reactions take place at very high temperatures. Think of Chernobyl the famous nuclear power plant whose core melted and killed many people and has made a section of Earth uninhabitable. If Mallove's theory is plausible, then it can mean great things for the search of new ways of creating power. Alas, Mallove was found murdered when he was moving out of his home in 2004. Some conspiracy theorists have said that maybe he was murdered because of what he knew. Others say it was just a robbery. His book Fire From Ice can still be bought on Amazon. Out of six reviewers, five of them gave it five stars and one skeptic gave it one star. He was no cracked pot, just someone who held unconventional views.
I do hope that those who killed those people will get caught.
Mallove's open letter for the world on how we need new forms of energy: Link
This made me think of another murder of a very intelligent person in Connecticut. Dr. Eugene Mallove was a physicist who was known for his interest in very different theories. He was regarded as an eccentric by some in scientific circles because he dabbled in what was considered "the impossible". One of his theories was "cold fusion" in which nuclear reactions can take place at room temperature. Typically nuclear reactions take place at very high temperatures. Think of Chernobyl the famous nuclear power plant whose core melted and killed many people and has made a section of Earth uninhabitable. If Mallove's theory is plausible, then it can mean great things for the search of new ways of creating power. Alas, Mallove was found murdered when he was moving out of his home in 2004. Some conspiracy theorists have said that maybe he was murdered because of what he knew. Others say it was just a robbery. His book Fire From Ice can still be bought on Amazon. Out of six reviewers, five of them gave it five stars and one skeptic gave it one star. He was no cracked pot, just someone who held unconventional views.
I do hope that those who killed those people will get caught.
Mallove's open letter for the world on how we need new forms of energy: Link
September 16, 2009
Pics from last month
Lotus flowers at Lake Park in Ilsan.
Near the eating places at Sahmyook University.
Sahmyook University Buramsan in the background.
Deoksogung Palace.
Flowers at Sahmyook University.
Taken from the steps of the art museum at Deoksogung.
September 15, 2009
Pie Jesu
Here is Sissel singing "Pie Jesu" from Webber's "Requiem". The piece is one of the better parts of the requiem, which is an uneven work. Sissel is most famous for her vocals in the "Titanic" soundtrack.
Edita Gruberova also singing "Pie Jesu" by Webber.
Here is Cecelia with a different recording of Pie Jesu. I have only heard her doing this one, nobody else.
Lucia Popp singing "Pie Jesu" from Faure's "Requiem".
Edita Gruberova also singing "Pie Jesu" by Webber.
Here is Cecelia with a different recording of Pie Jesu. I have only heard her doing this one, nobody else.
Lucia Popp singing "Pie Jesu" from Faure's "Requiem".
September 14, 2009
Books I want to get, eventually....
The Age of Reason
I want to read this book. This is about how the "romantic generation" learned to view science. It mentions Franklin, Faraday, Goethe, and many other geniuses of the day. It features writers such as Mary Shelley and Samuel Taylor Coleridge and how they wrote about science as well. It has 500+ pages and looks like a nice thick book to read.
The Brother Gardeners
This is a great history of botany from the 18th and 19th centuries. I saw this at Kyobo Bookstore, but it cost about 52,000 won. I will get it when it's cheaper. It's a new book and also an import.
Best American Travel Writing 2009
I have been collecting this series that started in 2000.
Prisoner of the State: The Secret Journal of Premier Zhao Ziyang
This is a journal written by Premier Zhao Ziyang during the Mao era. He became a political prisoner. I have another book called Wild Swans by Jung Chang that I have read half of. I find Chinese history to be very interesting.
I want to read this book. This is about how the "romantic generation" learned to view science. It mentions Franklin, Faraday, Goethe, and many other geniuses of the day. It features writers such as Mary Shelley and Samuel Taylor Coleridge and how they wrote about science as well. It has 500+ pages and looks like a nice thick book to read.
The Brother Gardeners
This is a great history of botany from the 18th and 19th centuries. I saw this at Kyobo Bookstore, but it cost about 52,000 won. I will get it when it's cheaper. It's a new book and also an import.
Best American Travel Writing 2009
I have been collecting this series that started in 2000.
Prisoner of the State: The Secret Journal of Premier Zhao Ziyang
This is a journal written by Premier Zhao Ziyang during the Mao era. He became a political prisoner. I have another book called Wild Swans by Jung Chang that I have read half of. I find Chinese history to be very interesting.
September 12, 2009
September 11, 2009
September 11
Yesterday (and still today in the USA) was the anniversary of the attacks in New York City and Washington D.C. and a downed plane in Pennsylvania. I do remember that day all too well. It is one of those situations where people will always ask "where were you when...?)
Tuesday, September 11, 2001 was a beautiful day. It was one of those days when nobody wants to be inside. The weather was warm, there was a light breeze, and there was hardly any clouds in the sky. I had been on campus at my new college for two weeks. I didn't have a job, so I decided I was settled in long enough to start looking for something. I walked to the student employment office. When I was in there I heard an office worker say that an airplane had crashed into one of the twin towers in New York City. I was surprised. I thought it was an accident. I wondered how that could have happened. Did the pilot have a heart attack? But then the co-pilot would have taken over. Did something go wrong with the plane? Then when the other plane hit the other tower, I knew that it couldn't be a mistake. I kept listening. A news reporter was in Washington, DC and was talking about the plight in New York when she said she heard a loud explosion. She said it came from the direction of the Pentagon. I couldn't wait to get out of the office. I went straight to the computer lab and looked at Yahoo! news, CNN, and BBC.
What I do remember is that it was a day filled with confusion. There were rumours going around the campus. Nobody was sure how many people were dead. If the towers were attacked an hour or so later there could have been 50,000 people dead. Thankfully the workday was only starting. The Pentagon didn't have as many workers in it either as it would have had later on. We wondered if there would be more crashes besides the four downed planes.
The school was only a four hour drive to New York City and many students were from there. They were lined up at the phones for a long time. Some didn't hear from their families for a few days. Not everybody had e-mail or cellphones then.
I do remember going to bed that night, with so much uncertainty of what had just happened, with my window open and listening to the breeze in the trees. Strangely enough, it continued to sound like airplanes in my dreams.
Tuesday, September 11, 2001 was a beautiful day. It was one of those days when nobody wants to be inside. The weather was warm, there was a light breeze, and there was hardly any clouds in the sky. I had been on campus at my new college for two weeks. I didn't have a job, so I decided I was settled in long enough to start looking for something. I walked to the student employment office. When I was in there I heard an office worker say that an airplane had crashed into one of the twin towers in New York City. I was surprised. I thought it was an accident. I wondered how that could have happened. Did the pilot have a heart attack? But then the co-pilot would have taken over. Did something go wrong with the plane? Then when the other plane hit the other tower, I knew that it couldn't be a mistake. I kept listening. A news reporter was in Washington, DC and was talking about the plight in New York when she said she heard a loud explosion. She said it came from the direction of the Pentagon. I couldn't wait to get out of the office. I went straight to the computer lab and looked at Yahoo! news, CNN, and BBC.
What I do remember is that it was a day filled with confusion. There were rumours going around the campus. Nobody was sure how many people were dead. If the towers were attacked an hour or so later there could have been 50,000 people dead. Thankfully the workday was only starting. The Pentagon didn't have as many workers in it either as it would have had later on. We wondered if there would be more crashes besides the four downed planes.
The school was only a four hour drive to New York City and many students were from there. They were lined up at the phones for a long time. Some didn't hear from their families for a few days. Not everybody had e-mail or cellphones then.
I do remember going to bed that night, with so much uncertainty of what had just happened, with my window open and listening to the breeze in the trees. Strangely enough, it continued to sound like airplanes in my dreams.
September 10, 2009
Get Whiter!
Today I found an article on CNN that said skin whitening cream has become popular in Asia. It focused on how fair skin is en vogue in India. Whitening cream is being sold widely to both genders. It's even advertised on television with ads implying that whiter skin will get them a better job and a better chance at getting a nice life partner. India apparently has a stigma on skin colour, with many people who say that fairer-skinned people are treated better in the job market. India still has arranged marriages and newspaper advertisements for a spouse often say that a fair partner is desired.
I do think that the idea of fair skin being more desirable is the "lily of the field" idea. It was popular in Europe for many years. Those with tans were people who worked outside and the rich people could stay inside out of the sun and stay lighter.
I have found that this is common here in Korea. Just this week I went to a "Skin Food" shop to find a facial scrub for myself. I was shown a shelf of scrubs by a saleswoman. I was interested in their ingredients and scents. She picked up one rice-based scrub and said it was "whitening". She had a big smile on her face. I thought it was funny that she was trying to sell me something and just had to mention that it was "whitening". I already am white, even though I do have a summer tan. Yet, many Koreans do like skin products that will make them whiter. Parasols are popular, not just for shade, but also to keep their owners paler.
Yet, this preference for lighter skin is also racist. It isn't all about beauty, it's also discriminatory against those who are dark.
The preference for lighter skin is also carried to who is most desired for English teachers here. Many black teachers say they aren't treated fairly in the job market here. The white teachers are preferred. The bias doesn't end there, as American and Canadian teachers are preferred over South Africans, Britons, New
Zealanders, and Australians.
When I took my second job at a hagwon (language school), I was hired along with a black teacher from the USA. I was picked up at the airport a week before the other teacher. When I was in the car, the owner told me she and her husband had previously been afraid to hire a black teacher. It was not because they were racist, but they were afraid of what the students and their families would think. Yet since Obama had just been elected as president of the United States, they thought it would be safer. Truthfully, the students took some time to get used to her, but soon they began to respect her and some even began to love her.
I do think it's sad that societies have to put so much emphasis on outer appearances. When someone looks for a life partner, someone's character and compatability matters more than their looks. In the job market, people should be chosen based on their abilities and work ethic, not on what they look like and their origins. Yet we live in such a shallow world.
I do think that the idea of fair skin being more desirable is the "lily of the field" idea. It was popular in Europe for many years. Those with tans were people who worked outside and the rich people could stay inside out of the sun and stay lighter.
I have found that this is common here in Korea. Just this week I went to a "Skin Food" shop to find a facial scrub for myself. I was shown a shelf of scrubs by a saleswoman. I was interested in their ingredients and scents. She picked up one rice-based scrub and said it was "whitening". She had a big smile on her face. I thought it was funny that she was trying to sell me something and just had to mention that it was "whitening". I already am white, even though I do have a summer tan. Yet, many Koreans do like skin products that will make them whiter. Parasols are popular, not just for shade, but also to keep their owners paler.
Yet, this preference for lighter skin is also racist. It isn't all about beauty, it's also discriminatory against those who are dark.
The preference for lighter skin is also carried to who is most desired for English teachers here. Many black teachers say they aren't treated fairly in the job market here. The white teachers are preferred. The bias doesn't end there, as American and Canadian teachers are preferred over South Africans, Britons, New
Zealanders, and Australians.
When I took my second job at a hagwon (language school), I was hired along with a black teacher from the USA. I was picked up at the airport a week before the other teacher. When I was in the car, the owner told me she and her husband had previously been afraid to hire a black teacher. It was not because they were racist, but they were afraid of what the students and their families would think. Yet since Obama had just been elected as president of the United States, they thought it would be safer. Truthfully, the students took some time to get used to her, but soon they began to respect her and some even began to love her.
I do think it's sad that societies have to put so much emphasis on outer appearances. When someone looks for a life partner, someone's character and compatability matters more than their looks. In the job market, people should be chosen based on their abilities and work ethic, not on what they look like and their origins. Yet we live in such a shallow world.
September 8, 2009
A Mediocre Student?
This was written in New York Times. It's interesting on who actually quoted this. This person seems like a mediocre student.
"It didn’t work out quite as I had anticipated. I didn’t know enough to participate in the exciting physics research that was going on at Cornell. I took German, in which the main thing I learned was that I have no head for foreign languages. My courses in philosophy left me puzzled about how ideas of Plato and Descartes that seemed to me absurd could have been so influential. I did not become wise."
Who said this?! It sounds like a mediocre student. (Answer below the picture)
"Snakes" by M.C. Escher
Steven Weinberg, Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics... I can't say if Steven Weinberg was a mediocre student overall or not. The truth is that geniuses are just as human as everyone else.
"It didn’t work out quite as I had anticipated. I didn’t know enough to participate in the exciting physics research that was going on at Cornell. I took German, in which the main thing I learned was that I have no head for foreign languages. My courses in philosophy left me puzzled about how ideas of Plato and Descartes that seemed to me absurd could have been so influential. I did not become wise."
Who said this?! It sounds like a mediocre student. (Answer below the picture)
"Snakes" by M.C. Escher
Steven Weinberg, Nobel Prize Laureate in Physics... I can't say if Steven Weinberg was a mediocre student overall or not. The truth is that geniuses are just as human as everyone else.
September 6, 2009
Rosa Elvira Sierra
She does very good in this rendition of "Pie Jesu" in Fuare's Requiem. The harp is lovely. Lucia Popp also sang a great version of this as well.
September 5, 2009
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole
This video features one of the Pacific islands' greatest musicians. He died a few years ago. He had a weight problem, it actually got so bad that eventually he needed a forklift to get on the stage. He was considered someone who had a heart as big as he was. The final part of the video shows some footage of his funeral. I noticed people in the water cheering as his ashes were being poured into the water. It was to celebrate his life. Shouldn't that be what services are for?
Sandy, RIP
I came back from church and found one of my hedgehogs dead. I buried it in the yard with one of my potted flower bulbs. I do hope it comes up again in the spring. I feel bad for the other hedgehog. That one seems to be doing well so far, but she hasn't realized that her friend won't be around anymore.
September 4, 2009
September 3, 2009
Westernisation of Asia
I have a lesson in one of my English textbooks about the Westernisation of Korea. It speaks of blond hair on Koreans and imported red wines. When I first went to Korea, I was very surprised to see so many Koreans with brown or blond hair. During my first week I went to a PC bang to check my e-mail and was surprised that the man at the desk had a voluptous mane of light blond hair. I wanted to laugh. Many of the Korean models and movie stars have brown hair. One of the soccer players in the World Cup in 2006 sported a shock of blond hair. I also noticed lots of Pizza Huts, Dunkin Donuts, Outback Steakhouses, and Subways. It was nice to have some of those things, yet I felt it was also sad that there were so many of them. Many Korean children are now overweight because they eat lots of fast food.
I was shocked to find out how many of my students said they wanted "bigger eyes". They felt that larger Western eyes were desirable. Many people in Korea and Japan have surgery to remove their eye folds to make their eyes more "open". I found that sad because they weren't accepting themselves as the way they were.
For westernisation of Korea, I blame corporations for trying to make money here. I also blame Hollywood films that are so popular here.
I found an interesting essay on the internet that was saying that English teachers and Western businessmen are to blame for trying to westernise people here. They often push their values on Koreans. They try to make western societies seem superior. They should realise they are guests in their host country and respect their culture.
I was shocked to find out how many of my students said they wanted "bigger eyes". They felt that larger Western eyes were desirable. Many people in Korea and Japan have surgery to remove their eye folds to make their eyes more "open". I found that sad because they weren't accepting themselves as the way they were.
For westernisation of Korea, I blame corporations for trying to make money here. I also blame Hollywood films that are so popular here.
I found an interesting essay on the internet that was saying that English teachers and Western businessmen are to blame for trying to westernise people here. They often push their values on Koreans. They try to make western societies seem superior. They should realise they are guests in their host country and respect their culture.
September 2, 2009
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