Stuff I Need to Change in My Life

1. I need to stop worrying so much about what other people think.  I do need a good reputation, but I don't need to worry too much about what others think.
2. I need to start saying "no" to people more often.  If something is not something I want to do (and I don't have to do it), I need to just say "no".  I need to start being more asssertive and just tell people my concerns when I don't feel something is right.
3. I need to stop seeing people I don't want to see.  I know there are times when I can't help but deal with some people because I may have to work with them.  Yet as much as possible I need to stay away from people who hurt me, people who I think are too weird, or just anyone I don't feel like hanging around with.
4. I need to stop staying in situations that are no good for me when I can get out of it.
5. I need to get rid of more clutter and keep my place neat. The more useless stuff I get rid of, the easier it will be to clean things.

Snow storm before November

I have seen snow in October a few times.  The snow wasn't much and didn't last long. It was beautiful to see snow on autumn leaves. I do remember seeing that phenomenon while living on a college campus in Massachusetts. I took a few photos of it.
Last Saturday, October 29, I was able to see snow in October again. This time it was a big blizzard.  October blizzards are very rare.  In fact, the first blizzards don't usually start until December, with the first snow falls starting around Thanksgiving.
This snow storm gave half a foot of snow in my area.  Some other places had more than one foot, others up to 17 inches.
My family's house only lost power for 4 hours.  Unfortunately, some people are still without power and should be without it for a few more days.  The storm is also blamed for 12 deaths.

Snow.

Last night it snowed for the first time this season. It is unusual to have snow so early, yet it isn't something I haven't seen before.  I didn't like the cold coming so fast.  Yet, thankfully, things didn't stay too icy for long.  My dog Jack was thrilled to see the snow.  There wasn't much on the ground, but when I took him outside today he spent some time digging into the snow with his paws and eating some of it.  At least somebody is happy to see the snow.

To Hell With Him

A week ago today I went out on a date with a man.  He seemed like a nice guy.  We have a lot in common.  We both picked out the onions in our salad.  He said he liked eggplant after I mentioned that I grew some in my garden last summer.  He likes the outdoors, travel, going on day trips to the city, etc.  I like all that stuff.

He later said that he'd be at my church on Sabbath.  I was excited to be able to see him again.  I went to church in my best dress. I tried to look my best.  I went to church--and I didn't see him. He didn't show up at all. I looked for him during Sabbath School and during the church service. 

A few days later I sent him a message and asked him how he was doing.  He said that on Friday night a friend called him and asked if he could work the sound equipment at another church that day. He went there instead.  I do wish that he sent a message to tell me that he wouldn't be there.  Anyway, he decided that going to the other church was more important than seeing me.  What do I need with a man who isn't that interested in me then?

Philemon Vespers

I did a vespers service a few years ago.  It was one that I was proud of.  I decided to publish the text of it here.

Hello! For those of you that don’t know me, my name is Christine ******. I am from Putnam, Connecticut, USA. Connecticut is the 3rd smallest state in the USA. (USA pp). Here is where the Pilgrims landed, that’s Canada, and that’s New York. We call this area “New England”. It is the birthplace of Adventism. The first SDA church is in New Hampshire. Ellen White was born in Maine. William Miller was from Pittsfield, MA and Joseph Bates was from New Bedford.


I am going to talk about a book of the Bible that we don’t hear much about. It is the book of Philemon. It’s so small that it gets overlooked. It is a letter from Paul to a friend named Philemon. It is said that Philemon lived in Colosse. It is in present-day Turkey and was near Laodicea.

In this book Paul was writing to Philemon in regards to a slave that he had owned. The man was Onesimus and he was a thief. He had stolen from his master and then ran away. Under Roman law, that offense was punishable by death. We don’t know how many times he stole something or what he stole. Onesimus was afraid for his life.

Slavery was an important way of life in ancient Rome. Scholars have differing ideas about its prevalence. About 15% 30% of the population was slaves. It had nothing to do with ethnicity, there were slaves of various backgrounds. Slavery was a serious cultural issue, people wouldn’t joke about who was a slave and who was not. The slave owner had full ownership of the person and total control. He could sell the person if he wished, and treat the person how he wished. Some slaves were treated well, others were not.

Paul then wrote a letter to Philemon, asking him to accept Onesimus back. He told him to forgive him for what he did. As Philemon would have had to the right to have him put to death, he was very likely saving his life. Paul told Philemon to take Onesimus back, not as a slave, but as a Christian brother. It would make Onesimus someone who was now free. He would be forgiven, taken back as someone who is better than a slave.

This story is a parallel of the Cross. Christ died for us so we don’t have to be slaves to sin. We are then free. We are saved from death.

Read the beginning, talk about it.

Read verses 8-14.

While Paul was a prisoner, he met up with Onesimus. Onesimus and Paul became close. Paul became his spiritual mentor. Paul shared Jesus with Onesimus. He thought of him as a son. He accepted him as he was. I can imagine that Onesimus had stories to tell Paul, of his fears. Paul had to have told him that Jesus can heal everything. Everything is healed. The healing is there for all of us. Onesimus became a changed person because of Paul’s example and nurturing.

God has a plan for all of us. When we are still lost in sin, God did something to help us to come back to Him. The trials in our lives are opportunities to get closer to God. God allows certain things to happen to us for a reason. God knew that Onesimus needed to find Him. He knew that he was a thief. And when he had to run for his life, he made it so that he met up with Paul.

(verses 15 and 16)

Onesimus had to run away to save his life, and God used that opportunity for him to meet Paul. He knew that Paul would bring the thief to Jesus. He would become a changed person. It was part of God’s plan for him.

God had a reason for Paul to be imprisoned. When he was imprisoned, he wrote many letters to people. For that we have the books of the Bible: Galatians, Ephesians, Colossians, etc. They are encouraging books. They are of God’s grace, love, and mercy. They helped to encourage the newly formed church. Many Christians were in jail or their loved ones were in jail. They were easily getting discouraged and hurt. They needed to hear uplifting words as they feared for their lives. They needed to know that Jesus would someday come back for them, and that they were to spread that good news.

Paul used the opportunity to minister to people like Onesimus. His imprisonment was an advantage to spreading God’s word to others. He could reach many people as a prisoner. Though he was in chains, he had new ways to still be a worker for Christ.

Though things may happen to us that are not pleasant, or what we wanted, we have to know that God knows the end from the beginning. He has plans for us. Many hardships can be opportunities to get closer to God. We can see how God helps us in our bad situations. People are inspired when they hear nice testimonies from people who still love God after bad things happen. The miracles that happen in a Christian’s life will inspire them to realize that God cares about them. The miracles are a testimony to other people.

“tell story of when my sister was a baby”.

Read verses 17-21

Paul felt that Philemon would do as he said. He knew that he would have compassion. He knew that he had a forgiving character and would do that. They would be reconciled and would have their relationship restored. They would also become more than a slave and a master, but they would be brothers in Christ.

Martin Luther said “Even as Christ did for us with God the Father, thus Paul does for Onesimus and Philemon”.

Colossians 4:7-9

1 Peter 8-11

That’s right. Love covers a multitude of sins. That is the whole idea of the cross. It is LOVE. God loved us so much that He sent His son to die on the cross for our sins. He has forgiven us, and taken our sins away. That is how we should treat each other, to forgive others for what they had done to us.

Tell story of meeting the enemy, from THREE years ago.

Read 1 Peter 4:12-19



Galatians 3:26-29, 4:4-7. We are all brothers and sisters in Christ. Because we are all adopted into Christ’s family. We are children of God. We are all one, even though we come from different backgrounds, cultures, countries, are different genders and ages. We are all in the family of God. We should treat each other as family should treat each other.

Starting again. We are all supposed to work together to bring souls to Christ. We are all part of the body of Christ.

To further analyze this letter, we will go back to the beginning. Paul starts out with getting a good rapport with Philemon. He greets him warmly. He said he kept him in his prayers (verses 5,6). It was because he heard of his love for the saints. We should always pray for our fellow Christians. We should always support each other. (read verse 7) It is when we share our faith with other people that we see how great God’s blessings are. We become closer to God. Our faith grows when we see how God changes people’s hearts. We want to study scripture more so we can share it. The church becomes more of a family and we become closer when we have the mutual goal of winning souls. It invites prayers and love for everyone. (Verse 8)

It is in doing Christ’s work that the church has the promise of his presence. “Go teach all nations, He said; “lo I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world.” To take His yoke is one of the first conditions of receiving His power. The very life of the church depends upon her faithfulness in fulfilling the Lord’s commission. To neglect this work is surely to invite spiritual feebleness and decay. Where there is no active labor for others, love wanes, and faith grows dim. Desire of Ages, 483.

1 Corinthians says that we all have gifts to help the church. Some of us are meant to be teachers, others prophets, others have gifts of healing. Each person should use their gifts for God. All of us are useful and have a specific work to do. We can never say “I am useless” or someone is more useful than me. As long as we are doing our best for God.

Church ministers are there to take care of the church members, but they are to train the church to be witnesses. They aren’t to be places for people to just be comfortable.

Christ intends that His ministers shall be educators of the church in gospel work. They are to teach the people how to seek and save the lost. But is this the work they are doing? Alas, how many are toiling ot fan the spark of life in a church that is ready to die! How many churches are tended to like sick lambs by those who outght to be seeking for the lost sheep! And all the time millions upon millions without Christ are perishing. (483)

The Saviour’s commission to the disciples included all the believers. It includes all believers in Christ to the end of time. It is a fatal mistake to suppose the work of saving souls depends alone on the ordained minister. All to whom the heavenly inspiration has come are put in trust with the gospel. All who receive the life of Christ are ordained to work for the salvation of their fellow men. For this work the church was established, and all who take upon themselves its sacred vows are thereby pledged to be coworkers with Christ. (481)

We are to give the gospel to the entire world. That is when Jesus can come back. He can’t return to this Earth to take us to Heaven when there are still people who need to hear about Him. We also want as many people as possible to go to Heaven with us. We want to help others.

But the command, “Go ye into all the world”, is not to be lost sight of. We are called upon to lift our eyes to the “regions beyond”. Christ tears away the wall of partition, the dividing prejudice of nationality, and teaches a love for all the human family. He lifts men from the narrow circle which their selfishness prescribes; He abolishes all territorial lines and artificial distinctions of society. He makes no difference between neighbors and strangers, friends and enemies. He teaches us to look upon every needy soul as our brother, and the world as our field. (482)

What I have decided, and then Luke 12:48 (taken from) From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; a nd from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.

Talk about the latter rain.

So it may be now. Instead of man’s speculations, let the word of God be preached. Let Christians put away their dissentions, and give themselves to God for the saving of the Lost. Let them in faith ask for the blessing, and it will come. The outpouring of the Spirit of apostolic days was the “former rain” and glorious was the result. But the “latter rain” will be more abundant.

John 15:12-17

We need to pray for this to happen. We need God’s work to come to a close and bring as many people as possible to Heaven. This is our work. Amen.

Washington DC

Last month I went to Washington, DC for a few days with my mother.  I went there once in 1997 when I went with my high school.  I was there with my sister and classmates over Spring Break.  That was a good time. That was my first time visiting there since. My mother had never been there before, and at age 62 was finally getting to see the place for the first time.

Earthquake!!!

Yesterday the East Coast of USA had an earthquake.  It's very rare for earthquakes to happen in the eastern USA.  A 5.8 quake hit in Virginia, not far from Washington DC.  Some structures got some damage, but there was nothing catastrophic.  The National Cathedral lost one of its spires and the Washington Monument is now cracked and closed indefinitely.
Some people thought the quake was a terrorist attack because it's very close to the ten-year anniversary of 9/11 attacks.  The Pentagon and Capitol Building were evacuated, but people soon went back to work.
The quake was felt even as far north as Massachusetts and Toronto.  Some people in my state (Connecticut) felt it, yet nobody in my town did.  Government workers in Hartford left their places after the quake.
Well, it looks like it was uneventful, except the fact that everyone was shaken up by it.  And there is some damage that should be fixable for most structures.

Poppy by Lisel Mueller

When they stop reaching for the moon,
the children begin to reach for the poppy.
They know without knowing that death is red,
its petals thinner than the thin skin
of their crackling crepe paper fevers,
and that it has a dark center
in which they can disappear.

It is not that they want to die,
only to come as close to death
as anyone has who is still alive,
run through the fire quickly enough,
pull open the parachute just in time,
They want to taste one pollen grain
from the bitter bread that grows
among the yellow, ignorant wheat.
Years later they  will reveal to you
there was a time when they almost drowned
in the river that flows backwards,
the water that has no place to go.
They will tell you as gently as they can.

Fiction by Lisel Mueller

Going south, we watched spring
unroll like a proper novel:
forsynthia, dogwood, rose;
bare trees, green lace, full shade.
By the time we arrived in Georgia
the complications were deep.

When we drove back, we read
from back to front.  Maroon went wild,
went scarlet, burned once more
and then withdrew into pink,
tentative, still in bud.
I thought it only as we could go on
and meet again, shy as strangers.

Drawings by Children by Lisel Mueller

I. The sun may be visible or not
(it may be behind you,
the viewer of these pictures)
but the sky is always blue
if it is day.  If not,
the stars come almost within your grasp;
crooked, the stars reach out to you,
on the verge of falling.
It is never sunrise or sunset;
there is no bloody eye
spying on you across the horizon.
It is clearly day or night,
It is bright or totally dark,
it is here and never there.

II.
In the beginning you only needed
your head, a moon swimming in space,
and four bare branches;
and when your body was added,
it was light and thin at first,
not yet the dark chapel
from which, later, you tried to escape.
You lived in a non-Newtonian world,
your arms grew up from your shoulders,
your feet did not touch the ground,
your hair was streaming,
you were still flying.

Boston Again

Today my sister and I headed back to the Museum of Fine Arts of Boston again. Tickets are good for two visits, as long as the second visit is done within ten days of the first. I was happy to get back there. We also ate food at the Cheesecake Factory, a nice restaurant chain that has GREAT food. We also wandered around a mall.

We first went to the subway stop called "Alewife", which is named after a type of fish. The place has a huge parking garage with many levels. It's a common place for people to come off the highway and park their cars and take the trains into Boston.

The Museum of Fine Arts is right off the subway stop named after it. My sister and I were hungry when we got off, so we decided to find the Cheesecake Factory. We ordered salads. I got one with endive, raddicchio, pecans and cheese. It was to die for. It was so tasty I just savoured every bite. I can now die in peace because I have tried that salad. We also ordered pasta.

We wandered over to a mall that had many upscale stores. We walked into Saks Fifth Avenue, and we thought most of the clothes were gaudy.  I do admit that most of the fashion these days is ridiculous.  I walked around and saw so many expensive clothes that didn't look like they were worth the amount they were being sold for.  I wouldn't pay so much for clothes that weren't made of good material and were only fad items.  One store that did have good stuff was Burberry.  Their clothes are stylish, yet too pricey for me now.

I am not one of those people that spends a lot of money on clothes often. If I am to splurge on something, I want it to be something that will last and will look good on me for a long time.

At the art museum we went to the new "Art of the Americas" wing.  There were many paintings, furniture, and silver pieces, among other things.  There were many silver pieces by Paul Revere, since he was a silversmith from Massachusetts.  Boston is very proud of him, there is even a suburb called Revere.  The Old North Church, where he went to give the signal that the British were invading still stands today.  A portrait of him is mounted in the entranceway of the wing.

Paul Revere by John Singleton Copley

It was amazing how many of the paintings were in my history books when I was in grade school.  I felt that I was reliving my history classes.  That was fine, I liked history in school.

Watson and the Shark by John Singleton Copley

I remember seeing that shark attack picture as a child.  I think the painting is great except for the shark, which looks unrealistic.  For centuries, few people knew what most sea creatures looked like in great detail.  The subject of the attack, Brook Watson, lost his right leg.  He went on to become a soldier and politician.

This is an etching by Paul Revere.  It is of the Boston Massacre of March 5, 1770.  I had seen that many times in the books.  The massacre of five colonists by British soldiers did help make the colonists more angry at the British.  The first person to die was Crispus Attucks, a mixed-race sailor. He is considered the first martyr of the Revolution.

We saw many other paintings that were unfamiliar. The paintings looked so real that the fabrics looked touchable.  The lace on some of the gowns looked like real lace that was put on the canvas.  It was amazing how big the portaits were.  There was one that took up an entire wall.



Stuff

Last Sunday I went to the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston.  It rained heavily when I arrived there with my sister.  It was to be the last day of the exhibit by Chihuly. 

My sister and I were met by big crowds.  The line was going down the block.  Neither of us had an umbrella.  We waited in line for a few minutes and then decided not to bother with Chihuly, just try to see the rest of the museum.  I felt that we could do that.  We ran ahead of the line and inside.  Nobody tried to stop us.  We found the room to buy tickets in and stood in line some more, dripping wet.

I got to the vendor and he said that anyone who had a Bank of America card on them would get free admission.  Thankfully I had mine on me and I got a free ticket.  I could also see the Chihuly exhibit after all.  So, my sister and I walked into the museum as line cutters.

First we saw the musical instruments.  The museum has some harpsichords, virginals, many stringed instruments and some very old woodwinds.  I liked the harpsichord that was painted with a lovely outdoors scene of Le Arc d'Triomphe as the most beautiful instrument there.

This is a 1736 harpsichord by Henri Hemsch.  It has real gold leaf on it.  It's still so beautiful.

There were also some lutes and an arch-cittern among other things.  The lute is such an old instrument, the forerunner of the guitar. That is an instrument rarely seen these days. It would be an interesting conversation starter to say "I play the lute". 

I went to Campmeeting

Last week I was at Campmeeting in South Lancaster, Massachusetts. It was a good time.  It started on Friday night, went on throughout the weekend, and then all the next week.  I did meet up with some old friends and acquaintances and met some new people.  I am glad I went.  The last part of the week was cold and rainy, yet I was still glad to be there.

Grave Hunting

Today my mother and I decided to look for some graves of our ancestors in Rhode Island.  We went to the Pocasset Cemetery in Cranston, Rhode Island. It is a suburb of Providence.  I did know that my great-grand parents were buried somewhere in or near Providence.  My Uncle Jimmy told me which cemetery to go to, and I was anxious to go.  I haven't known much about my family's history until recently.  He told me that my great-grandmother arrived in Boston, Massachusetts on a ship from Liverpool, England.  It was November 28, 1880 and it was her fifth birthday.  Her parents, Samuel and Mary (Standring) Jackson had 10 or 11 children.  I do wonder how many came with them from England.
The cemetery has 25,000 burials and has three sections.  We had no idea where to start looking in there.  We drove into the back of the cemetery.  My mother decided to take a right because that part seemed like the old section.  There were some areas that had just a few gravestones here and there, yet were dominated by small plain markers. Those must be some old burial grounds that were moved there, and even pauper's graves.
Soon my mother noticed a big stone that said "ASHTON" on it.  We got out of the car and I saw on the back five names:
James Ashton d. 1933
His wife Ellen Jackson d. 1967
James F. Ashton 1908-1912
Mary Jackson d. 1930
Frank Jackson d.1961

That was it.  It didn't take us long to find it at all.  There were my great-grandparents James and Ellen (Jackson) Ashton, both born in England.  Their son James Franklin Ashton died at age four.  Mary Jackson is my great-great grandmother, Ellen's mother.  I had never heard of Frank Jackson and I'm assuming it's my great-grandmother's brother.

I was surprised to see just one big stone for a lot of family members.  The stone looked fairly new, maybe 40 years old at the most.  Some family members put that there.  I do wonder what happened to the original markers.  Maybe they lie beneath the grass somewhere.

I thought about it:  the first person to die was James Franklin Ashton at age four in 1912.  I do wonder how he died.  A child dying in 1912 was nothing uncommon though.  He was alone in the plot until 18 years later when his grandmother passed away in 1930.  Three years later his father was buried there.  Finally the last two burials would happen in the 1960s, those of his Uncle Frank (maybe where the tot's middle name came from) and his mother.  His mother had spent 55 years without her son and 34 years without her husband.

One very strange thing is that my family knew nothing of little James Franklin Ashton.  My great-grandparents had four children after him, all born around 1911-1916.  They would later adopt a boy named William.  By the time my grandmother Gladys was born in 1916, they were living in Winchester, New Hampshire.  As far as I know, the young four year-old boy was never mentioned.

I do wonder why the death of young James was never talked about.  Maybe my great-grandparents thought it was too painful to discuss. They moved away quickly, yet in the end both parents, a grandparent, and an uncle would join him in their final resting place. 

I still do have some questions.  Why is my great-great-grandmother not buried next to her husband?  Where is Samuel Jackson now?  Could he be buried in another nearby cemetery with other family members?  Why is this group all alone, with so many family members that were around?

I tried to picture in my head, ninety-nine years ago when little James was buried there.  I could see a horse-drawn hearse and a sad little coffin.  A firstborn child was being buried.  The family would soon move far away, and yet even decades later a few coffins would be taken many miles to be at that place, just so a few people can rest together, all near a beloved 4 year-old boy.

The King's Speech

I watched The King's Speech yesterday. I was enthralled with Colin Firth's acting as King George VI.  I do believe he deserved the title of Best Actor.  I do think Colin Firth is one of Britain's best actors. 
In the film, the king has a problem with stuttering.  He works with a language therapist to help him overcome his stutter. He improves a lot.  Later on it turns out that the therapist doesn't have a degree in linguistics or speech therapy. He just learned to work with WWI veterans that had speech problems as a result of shell shock. 

I do think that one lesson learned from the film is that people don't always need credentials to do a good job at what they do.  Knowledge is essential of course, yet passion for what ones does is also important.  We don't always need a certificate to prove what we know.  Sometimes those without a degree may know as much as someone else with the degree, if not more.  Likewise someone with a bachelor's degree may not always know less about a subject that someone with a master's degree.

Unfortunately also, there are people with degrees in certain subjects that don't do well in that field because they lack the talent.  Just because someone could say, become a medical doctor doesn't mean he will do well as a doctor.  A doctor needs interpersonal skills and good judgment.  Not everyone with a teaching degree has the passion to be a great teacher.

I do think this teaches us that degrees aren't always a litmus test to how much someone knows about something or how well someone does something.

We Lost Max

My family lost Max on Monday morning.  We got a phone call from the vet and she said he took a turn for the worse. It turns out his bladder ruptured and his body became toxic.  It was a hard blow for us because we had thought he was going to be fine. We were hoping he could come home with us that day. 
We arrived at the vet and poor Max couldn't lift his head up.  He was gasping for air and grunting.  We were so shocked and heartbroken.  We were with him for a while and talking and talking to different staff members. It was evident that nothing more could be done for him, yet none of us wanted to believe that.
My aunt and I left the room when the vet tech put Max to sleep.  My mother was with him, petting him. Earlier she was singing to him the same song she always sings to him when she arrives home from work.  Max could recognize his Mama. 
Max was brought out to us wrapped in a plastic bag and blanket.  We buried him in newspapers and a paper bag.  I planted two lilies and some flower seedlings on his grave.
This is just a month and a day after losing Mindy the cat to a seizure. We also lost other pets last year.
We are tired of losing pets.

Max Update

The vet called and said that Max's skin has been stitched up.  They had to stretch it a lot since the wound is large.  He did lose some skin during the accident.  It is sutured shut.  One toe had to be amputated. I did notice that one of his feet was hurt badly.  He did make one poo since arriving, yet they had to put a catheter in him to release some urine.  I do hope he does that on his own soon. 
So far it looks like he's being one resilient little Maltese doggie.

Garden Shop and Later Max

Early this morning my mother and I went to a garden shop.  We got a blueberry bush that will have pink berries. I never saw such a thing before. I just had to get it since I like unusual plants, as well as blueberries.  I guess "blueberry" won't be such an appropriate name for them now, but I am not sure what else to use. So "pink  blueberry" even though it sounds silly.  We also got a gooseberry bush, which is more popular in Europe.  Our local expatriates from Europe have called the store to ask for them.  We got a raspberry bush and a kiwi plant.
My mother also bought two pear trees (Bartlett and Asian pear) and an apple tree that will yield four types of apples. Since it's a grafted tree it can pollinate itself and not need another tree.  It will have Granny Smith, Golden Delicious, Red Delicious, and Gravenstein apples.  It's a good idea, since it sells.  We left the trees to be delivered to our home later and took the bushes home in the car.

My mother later left to go to the gym. I wanted to go to the bank, so I stayed home and waited for my sister to come over.  She brought her laundry since her pets peed on her bedding.  She brought the laundry downstairs.  I helped her with the laundry by holding up the sheets as she sprayed some stain remover on them.  She went to the sink to wash her hands. I stepped outside to wait for her out there. 
As soon as I opened the door  Max, my mother's Maltese dog, ran outside. I quickly ran after him, calling him to come back. He kept running down the driveway and into the street.  I ran across the street after him.  A SUV was coming.  He walked in front of the vehicle.  I heard a crack and the SUV stopped.  Max was underneath. 
I was screaming "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" and "FUUUUUUUUUU**!!!!"  I saw him there, still alive. I didn't know how I could get to him since he was square underneath.  The couple got out of the SUV.  A man who was in a van also stopped.  He reached under and picked Max up.  I could see he had a big wound near his hind leg.  I was calling for my sister, who didn't come out of the house. When she came out I ran to her and said Max got hit.  The man asked if we had a box.
My sister found the top half of a cat's litter box that was in the yard. I had taken it outside to clean it and let it dry.  We put Max inside it and went to her car.  I held him on my lap. I found her  nylon jacket and put it on him.  I was later handed a shirt that was in the car. I put that on him and held it tight against him. Max held up his head.  I spoke softly to him. He later put his head down. I petted him and tried to get him to put his head up again, it made me feel better.
We made it to the vet and they took Max away.  I waited in the waiting area, which was very crowded. I paced and paced. I know Max is my mother's favourite dog.  Deborah left to get my mother from the gym since she wasn't answering her cell phone.  I sat in the private room and listened to the vet's words.  She said that he needed a X-ray to check for trauma.  He could be fine if there is no trauma.
Later my mother and aunt showed up with my sister.  All four of us were there.  The vet came and said that there was no trauma, yet he has a broken pelvis. He said that for smaller dogs the pelvis breaking isn't always bad, because they don't put much weight on it.  We need to see what happens in the first 24 hours.
All four of us went to see Max. He was sitting upright, with his back all bandaged.  He was panting, but very alert. He looked at all of us and wagged his tail.  I was glad to see he had control over his tail.  I also greeted an orange cat in the next cage, who rolled around and purred.  A smart cat knows a cat person when he sees one.
I do hope Max does get better soon, and that he doesn't get any infections.

Going to New York City

Last week I got to spend a few days in New York City. I have wanted to spend the night in Manhattan for a long time. My mother and I spent two nights at Hotel Carter, a cheap hotel that's just over $100 a night.  It's not fancy at all, the couch was ripped and the water had to run for 10 minutes to get hot enough for a good shower. Yet, I can't complain. It's better than spending over $300 on a hotel for a night.  To me, a hotel is only good for sleeping, showering, and keeping my things.  I am willing to stay in a cheap place.  The hotel was in a great location because it was so close to Times Square. Let those other people break the bank on a hotel.
I went to see Phantom of the Opera on the first night. It was good. I saw Phantom back in high school.  It brought back memories.  I was with the school's music department.  The seniors all had their names put in a hat and some names were drawn to get the better seats. I was one of the lucky ones that got to sit closer to the front.  This time my mother and I were in the far back. It's OK, the show was good anyways.
The next day we went to the New York Botanical Garden in the Bronx. It was worth it to go. It's open from 10am to 6pm.  We got there a little past 11am.  I loved the collection of lilacs. I saw some types I had never seen before. I didn't know about those with white on the edges of each tiny blossom. I saw some tree peonies which i have never seen. They smelled lovely.  The azaleas were also in full bloom and I loved walking around in them.  I saw one strange bush that was mostly white, yet had some specks of pink in the flowers.  Some flowers had one or a few bright pink petals, and one flower was totally pink.  It was a hybrid, and it was interesting what the genes do in a plant.
I did go inside the library for a while and look at the collections. I browsed the magazines from horticultural societies around the world.  I would like to go back there again to read the book collections. 
The greenhouse was great.  Many large cacti were there, similar to some I saw in in a greenhouse near Namsan Tower in Seoul.  The place had many large palms and ferns.  Moss grew everywhere.
I do wish I could go there very often. If I lived closer, I would make myself a member and go there every few weeks to see the different plants.

Royal Wedding Recap

I woke up early this morning to watch the royal wedding.  I didn't start watching as soon as the coverage started, but I didn't miss much.  I got to see all the royals being taken into Westminster Abbey.  It was different that the royals were driven there in cars, and many lesser royals were driven in mini-buses.  I do think it was a good idea since it would be safer and cheaper than a long procession of carriages.

One thing was fun to watch was all the hats the women wore. It reminded me of My Fair Lady.  Many of the hats were perched on the front of someone's head, or resting on the side of the head.  They were more like hairpieces rather than hats.

Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images

Princess Eugenie and Princess Beatrix, above, wore some crazy outfits. Their eyeliner was a bit much.  I don't understand why so many women think they need to look like Cleopatra or a raccoon. 
 
The prime minister's wife, Samantha Cameron, didn't wear a hat.  The news caster announced that, she got some looks when she entered the Abbey.  All the female guests are to wear hats.  It's de rigeur.  She wore a quaint headband that was becoming.  Oh well, she does have a right to be different.  She looked better with the headband than one of those hats that look like centerpieces.  Then, well, it does go against tradition.  Some have said is thinking she was above the occasion.  Yet, we don't know what was going through her head.
 

Anthony Devlin / Getty Images

LA Times write-up
One thing interesting is that the guests at the royal wedding were all expected to wear sleeves, and long ones at that.  Even the bride had a long-sleeved gown.  It's another one of those rules that they have to follow. 
Catherine Middleton's gown was compared to that of Princess Grace.

Well, Kate Middleton and Grace Kelly were both commoners who married into royalty.  It seems to be a growing trend among royals, to look beyond just marrying royalty.  It can be a good thing, since they have more options.  They can then find someone they are in love with more easier, rather than a marriage of convenience.  And we all know what problems closed gene pools can cause, like the the gene of haemophilia that Queen Victoria carried became present in the Romanov family and later caused the Russian Revolution.

I do hope that William and Catherine will be happy together for many years. 

And death shall have no dominion

And death shall have no dominion.

Dead mean naked they shall be one

With the man in the wind and the west moon;

When their bones are picked clean and the clean bones gone,

They shall have stars at elbow and foot;

Though they go mad they shall be sane,

Though they sink through the sea they shall rise again;

Though lovers be lost love shall not;

And death shall have no dominion.



And death shall have no dominion.

Under the windings of the sea

They lying long shall not die windily;

Twisting on racks when sinews give way,

Strapped to a wheel, yet they shall not break;

Faith in their hands shall snap in two,

And the unicorn evils run them through;

Split all ends up they shan't crack;

And death shall have no dominion.



And death shall have no dominion.

No more may gulls cry at their ears

Or waves break loud on the seashores;

Where blew a flower may a flower no more

Lift its head to the blows of the rain;

Though they be mad and dead as nails,

Heads of the characters hammer through daisies;

Break in the sun till the sun breaks down,

And death shall have no dominion.

Easter

I did have a good Easter. It was rainy in the morning, but finally the sun came out.  The flowers are nice in the yard. There's forsynthia, hyacinths, daffodils, tulips, grape hyacinths, and many buds on the lilac bush.  I went for a long walk with the dogs.
I went to Walmart to get some of the cheaper Easter candy.  There's nothing like Easter eggs and Easter bunnies.  Even though I'm in my 30s I can still like that stuff.  My mother, aunt, and I had sandwiches at Subway.  I like their vegetables, so fresh.  Honey oat bread is the best.
I later planted some gladiolus bulbs and uprooted some grape hyacinths that were in the yard and planted them in the flower bed and on Mindy's grave.  I miss Mindy so much.
I found three ticks on Benji and two on Jack.  I don't like ticks. I want the dogs to get shots for Lyme Disease, since it's so prevalent here.
I miss Mindy a lot. I am so used to having her in bed with me every night and seeing her sitting on the couch near me.  I keep thinking she's around, that I need to take care of her, and then I must remind myself that she's gone now.  I do hope pets can go to Heaven.  If any pet I had deserves to go there, it's Mindy.  She was precious.
Here's a classic "Looney Tunes" cartoon from 1947 about Easter:

Goodbye Mindy

Mindy, 2010-2011 Died of FIP

This week Mindy deteriorated.  She didn't walk around as much.  She stopped eating and drinking on her own.  I felt crushed because she made such great improvements since November, when I first noticed her having neurological problems.  She used to be paralyzed and didn't eat or drink on her own.  Later she started walking, even though it wasn't well-balanced.  I no longer had to spoon-feed her and give her water with a syringe.  She did have a sort of shaky head and her eyes darted back and forth sometimes.  She had FIP, or Feline Infectious Peritonitus.  I gave her a vaccine for that, but it's only 60% effective and she may have been born with the virus.

Last night around 1 am I was trying to sleep with Mindy on me.  Suddenly she started hyperventilating.  I knew her mouth was open and she was seething. I wasn't sure if she was vomiting or just foaming at the mouth. I put my hand there and she bit my thumb hard.  It bled a lot. I turned on the light and I realized she was having a seizure.  For about 15 minutes she scratched around, shrieked, and writhed. I trapped her in the blanket so she wouldn't fall on the floor. 

I moved her to the couch. I turned on the TV so I would have a distraction. I petted her. The convulsions were less severe.  Yet, around 3 am, Mindy passed away.  I put her body in a paper bag. It was only then I realized she was biting the couch.  I had to extract her teeth from the upholstery.  I am so upset.

I buried her next to the house. I uprooted some irises that had multiplied and planted them there. I also put in two hyacinth bulbs that I had brought in the house earlier.  I poured water on the plants so they will grow.  Once I came into the house, I realized I didn't cut off any fur. I have usually done that with pets who have passed away.  I just told myself that I have some photographs to remember her with.

Today is Good Friday.  I really do hope that pets can go to Heaven.  I do need to remember that Earth isn't my real home.

Andrews University

I want to go back to Andrews University. I went there from 1999-2001.  I have missed it a lot since I left.  It has been a long time though.  I wish I didn't leave. I mostly left because my family talked me into leaving, saying Andrews was "too far away".  I do wish I held my ground and said "no".  I do realize that saying "no" to people is very important.

I know that going back there won't bring back my old friends, my former life there, or make me able to pick up where I left off.  I will be going there as a graduate student this time.  I won't fit in with the crowd of 18, 19, and 20-year-olds who will dominate the campus.

I will be studying International Development. I am sure I will like that degree. It will be a master's degree, so I can spend time with other older students. I will be there for a three-week session next month.  There will be other three-week sessions in other venues. They are in South Africa, Ghana, Kenya, Italy, and Chile.  I do look forward to more travel. 

Since I do know that I want to be on my own again, I am thinking of finding out about jobs in that area, so that maybe I can stay there. I don't want to live with my family now. I am 31 years old and should be living away from home.  The major also has studies on campus, so if I don't want to study by distance and part-time I can study on campus.  Maybe that will be a good idea.

Death Be Not Proud

DEATH be not proud, though some have called thee


Mighty and dreadfull, for, thou art not so,

For, those, whom thou think'st, thou dost overthrow,

Die not, poore death, nor yet canst thou kill me.

From rest and sleepe, which but thy pictures bee, 5

Much pleasure, then from thee, much more must flow,

And soonest our best men with thee doe goe,

Rest of their bones, and soules deliverie.

Thou art slave to Fate, Chance, kings, and desperate men,

And dost with poyson, warre, and sicknesse dwell, 10

And poppie, or charmes can make us sleepe as well,

And better then thy stroake; why swell'st thou then;

One short sleepe past, wee wake eternally,

And death shall be no more; death, thou shalt die.

--John Donne

Diana with Cystic Fibrosis

Diana may not be her real name.  Yet, there is a girl in Ukraine that is living in one of the many orphanages there.  She has cystic fibrosis, a congenital disease that affects the body's way of digesting food and causes mucus to grow in the lungs.  With better medical care these days, many CF patients can live to be in their thirties.

I do hope and pray that Diana will get a family soon.  She shouldn't have to live her life without a family to be with her.

Link to profile: http://reecesrainbow.org/diana-29
Link to older girl's collective grant: http://reecesrainbow.org/category/waitingchildren/angels-6

Going to Lancaster

Last Thursday I went to South Lancaster, Massachusetts to visit the Adventist Book Center.  There was a sale of books, music, and vegetarian foods.  My family got a lot of food to stock up since we are all vegetarians.  I looked at the books, but I didn't get any.  I don't think that many books from Adventist publishing companies are worth reading.  That's because there aren't many good authors these days.  The better books are usually those written before the 1980s.  Those are good stories of missionaries and early Adventist pioneers.
I went to my alma mater to get a new diploma, since I lost my original one when I was in Korea. I moved a few times and I ended up losing it somehow, along with my alien card. I was upset.
Mindy the cat came along for the ride.  She was a good girl and sat in the back seat without any trouble. I didn't want to leave her at home.  She sat beside me or on my lap and was very quiet.
We went to a grocery store and got lots of food. I decided to get lasagna noodles and an eggplant to make lasagna.  We made it a few days ago and it was good.  We also added spinach to it.

A Reply from Fred Phelps

A man thought that God is mean.
The reply:
Psalm 11:5, Deuteronomy 25:16, 1 Samuel 2:25,Romans 9:11-13, Job 16:9-14, Job 23:13-17, Psalm 90:7-12...these are just a few! I hope you have not been going to the building you call a church for many years. God is righteous! He is not like us. And for the unbelievers here Psalm 14:1. I pray that some here God will grant fear of him, that is the beginning of wisdom!

Mindy

These are photos of Mindy after I brought her home from the vet in Korea. She ended up having neurological problems and was paralyzed. They were saying it may be Feline Infectious Peritonitus (FIP) which is caused by the Corona virus.  They said she may  have been born with it.  She started the bad neurological problems on Nov. 13.  She is still living and doing better. I brought her home to the USA with me on Dec. 7 and she now walks around and drinks on her own and eats a little. I do still give her some canned food by spoon.  I have been giving her L-lysine tablets and that has been helping her.
I won't be doing animal rescue again for a while. I have been tired of the diseases and heartbreak it has caused me.  I also have enough animals to take care of right now.  I do hope Mindy keeps improving.  The vets all say that FIP is incurable, but none have been able to make a sound diagnosis of Mindy.

I Miss Korea

I do miss Korea. I do miss many people there and many places there.   I have been wishing I was there now to do some things with the friends I left behind.
What I don't miss is teaching.  Teaching is what most of us foreigners do there, unless we are in military. I would gladly do something there that doesn't involve teaching a class. 
Teaching is something I don't like doing.  I have wondered if I learned better skills with it, that maybe I would like it better.  Yet after doing it for so long things haven't changed.  The problem is that since I have spent so much time since graduating from college in Asia, I have gotten accustomed to life there. I haven't readjusted to American life well at all. 
Frankly, I don't really want to get used to the USA again. I don't want to live here, unless I can live in one of the bigger metropolitan areas like New York City or Boston.  If I lived in those places I could get used to walking around a lot and using public transit, taking in the diversity and many cultural venues.
Yet, living in Asia is being in a place where I will never fit in completely.  I may make friends with fellow foreigners, but they come and go.  I have wondered how those Westerners who marry Asians and settle there with families think of Asia after many years living there. I am sure they still love it a lot, yet they still have never fit in the culture totally.  It's impossible.  All non-Asians are "big-nosed foreigners".  Asians of other backgrounds are also set apart.  Japanese and Chinese folks don't always do well in Korea.
I still do miss Korea.  I miss the many kimbap shops, the cafes I hung out in, the parks.  I miss the flower festivals and the museums of Seoul.  I miss going around on solo adventures with a backpack and camera to feed my wanderlust.

My Alma Mater Will Cease to Exist

I found out last week that my alma mater, Atlantic Union College will lose its accreditation at the end of summer 2011.  It has been in existence since the 1880s, but it has been having financial problems for over a decade now. 
The problems with AUC have been very controversial.  Many students were defaulting on their loans when I was there from 2001-2003.   There was at least $7 million in debts for the school.  The reasons that students were allowed to default is something that's hard to speak out about.  Clearly some favoritism existed.  The president at the time was accused of firing competent staff members and replacing them with cronies that were less qualified.  Such mis-management was enough to bring the school into ruin.  Even though he left just before I graduated in 2003, the damage has proven irreversible.
It has been voted that Washington Adventist University in Maryland will take AUC as a satellite campus.  It is good that WAU now has university status (it only gained it within the last few years) and now the campus in Massachusetts can have more classes.  In recent years many departments have shut down due to lack of funds.  I do hope things work out, I wouldn't want such a historic and beautiful campus to not be used as a school anymore.
This all being said, I do think it's time for me to get another degree.

Mokpo

I didn't get the job in Mokpo.  The director of the language school decided he didn't need a new teacher after all.  That is fine though. I can still get another job somewhere else. I do hope that I do get another job soon.
Last week I talked to a school where a friend of mine works, and there are no openings there either. 
I do feel disappointed.  Mokpo is a city on the ocean, and I love the ocean.  I also feel that a change from Seoul would do me good if I'm to return to Korea, because Seoul's air is very dirty.
A friend of mine is working at a school in California, which is a lifestyle center and a training school.  She likes working there. I met her in Korea when we both taught English for the same chain of language schools.

31st birthday

Yesterday I turned thirty-one years old.
I spent a lot of the morning trying to fix the internet connection on the house computer.  It didn't work. I was frustrated.
I went outside to take the dogs for a walk and I was pleased to see some daffodil bulbs coming out of the ground.  The winter was extremely harsh and the snow was very high.  My area had many roof collapses and driving was difficult due to the high snow banks on every corner. 
I did want to go to a certain Mexican restaurant, but the restaurant has temporarily closed because of problems with its roof.  My family decided to go to another Mexican restaurant in town, but the restaurant was closed because it was Monday.  We decided to go to a pizza parlor instead.  The pizza was very good, I shared a vegetable pizza with my mother. My sister and aunt both had salads and pasta.
At home I had chocolate and harlequin ice cream with a cake.  The cake was nice, double-layer with real frosting and green/white jimmies on the side.  There was green lettering on the top, saying "HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRISTINE".  Since my b-day is very close to St. Patrick's Day, I have had many green birthday cakes.  That's fine because I like green.
I don't really "feel" 31.  Well, maybe because so many other people my age already have children, homes, careers, and I have spent a good part of my adulthood living in Korea and have remained single.  It's OK, not all those people with all those things are happy.

Moving Out

I have decided that I want to get out of my mother's house by the end of March.  I will be 31 years old next week and I don't want to live with my family.  I don't hate my family, but I am old enough to be on my own and I should be.  I have decided to look into various jobs so I can get some income and move out ASAP. 
I have realized that I have changed a lot since I moved out of the house.  I keep changing too.  I don't want to do the same things my family does. I don't agree with them on every issue. I also don't want to attend my home church anymore.  I am still a Christian, yet I don't want to attend the same congregation for many reasons.
The two years I spent in Korea were rough.  I made many mistakes.  Yet, I learned from my mistakes. I realized there were many things I needed to change about myself. I did get angry at God over some things that happened to me, but there were some lessons I needed to learn.  I do wish I learned those things earlier.
I did grow up in a very overbearing family. I wasn't allowed much freedom and I couldn't make my own decisions.  I have had trouble making my own choices.  It has been a painful journey, but I know that I must be away from my family if I can ever learn to make choices on my own.  It's important to move out.

Hope For Orphans

Last summer I came across an organization called Reece's Rainbow that helps children with disabilities who are living in orphanages in various countries.  The disabled children in those orphanages usually are transferred to mental institutions when they are 4 or 5 years old. I never knew that happened. Yet many children with down syndrome, cerebral palsy, blindness, deformed limbs, deafness, and cranio-facial deformities are sent to mental institutions once they leave the baby homes.  They are left there to stay until they finally expire.  And many of them die within their first year there due to neglect.
It is an atrocity.  I feel that they deserve to be rescued and have loving families. Not everybody can adopt children.  Yet there are things we all can do to help them out.  This charity and some others have grant funds to help families with adoption expenses.  Many would have never been rescued if it wasn't for the grants.  Lives are saved, literally, because they were rescued from the institutions.
Reece's Rainbow is a charity that raises funds for individual children to get adopted. Most of the children are in Eastern Europe, but some come from China, other Asian countries, and Latin America. The younger children (0-5) have individual grants, and the older children (6+) have a collective grant for the next child adopted. 
Here are a few of the children:

This little girls' name is Alisha.  She has Penn-Sjogren Syndrome. Children like her have a lot of potential once they can live with a family.
http://reecesrainbow.org/alisha-1

Lovely Lauren is HIV+.  Obama has allowed U.S. citizens to adopt HIV+ children from other countries now.  She's such a doll.  I hope a family comes for her soon.
http://reecesrainbow.org/lauren-2

Dmitry is blind.  He has only one eye and the other is useless.  He was just transferred out of the baby home.  He reminds me of a blind student I knew at university. He also had blond hair like him and two glass eyes.  He was studying to become a pastor and wrote beautiful religious poetry.  He later got married and graduated.  I can see Dmitry being successful in life. He just needs a family!

http://reecesrainbow.org/dmitriy-4

Being Back.

I have been back for two months now. I think I have been at my mother's home long enough. I am very restless. I want to be on my own again desperately. I don't like the idea of stagnating. I also don't think that a woman in her 30s should be living at her mother's house.
I need to move out again. I have heard of a possible English teaching job in Korea. It's not near where I was before, and I would rather be with my friends I made over there.  Yet, I can learn to get used to a new place and blossom there. I could make new friends. Maybe I can really like it.

Jack in the Snow

My Mother's Birthday

My mother turned 62 years old on Monday.  She had to take my aunt to Willimantic to see the welfare office. My aunt has lost her health insurance and they had to settle things.  I stayed home. 
After a while I decided to take the dogs outside. I walked Benji.  After that I took out Max and Jack.  While I was going back up the street, Jack's leash snapped and he ran up the street.  Thankfully he went into the driveway and stayed out of the street.
When I got into my driveway, I tried to call Jack over to me.  He decided to run around the yard in the deep snow.  The snow is up to my knees. I tried walking toward him, but he kept running off.  I did get to walk on top of the snow, but sometimes I sank into it.  I decided to put Max in the house and when I did that, Benji ran out. I quickly grabbed him and put him back.
Jack decided he would run around the side of the house and the backyard. He wouldn't come.  The problem is that he isn't afraid of cars. I didn't want him to run into the road and get hit.  There is also a leash law. 
After about 45 minutes, he finally came to me.  I had to lay in the snow, and he came up and sniffed me.  I then grabbed his harness.
Unfortunately, I found out I had locked myself out of the house. The screen door had locked, yet the back door was open. I felt silly.  In my haste to bring Benji back in the house quickly I had locked myself out and not closed the inner door.
I tied Jack out and walked to Dunkin Donuts to sit and wait.  My mother finally came home, and read the note. I then told her what happened. I am glad I had a newspaper to read.  Our neighbor across the street helped us in with a crowbar.  The dogs were all barking at him.  The neighbor laughed. I was happy to be inside again.

Children Around the World by Jane Hodges-Caballero

I had this book when I was a child. I doubt my mother realised how much of an impact it made on me. This book was about countries around the world. It devoted a few pages to one country, introducing at least fifty countries. It showed pictures of children and dolls in native costumes. The book had pictures of flags, maps, words in various languages to learn, and some activities for each country. There were a few recipes and folk stories for some countries. I spent a lot of time pouring over the pages and wishing I could visit those countries and meet those children.

I didn't grow up in an area with lots of diversity. I grew up in a small town that was filled with mostly white people who were of Polish background. The town was a Polish enclave for many years. There was Polish food and music at church festivals every year. I have some Polish blood from my grandfather. I knew I had Polish relatives in town that we didn't know. They never accepted my grandmother who had parents from England. The few that did were dead.

I did experience some cultural diversity in my neighbourhood as many Puerto Rican families moved in. The friction between them and the white people there was palpable. The white people always complained about the Puerto Ricans using Spanish, having their apartments filled with relatives, and their getting charity. They blamed the problems in the neighbourhood on them, forgetting that some of the worse drug dealers in the place were white. Everybody there was poor and picking up welfare checks. It was nothing but prejudices in the way of common sense.

I picked up a few Spanish words and was told by a white person that I was ridiculous, that I am American and I should speak like one. Puerto Ricans are Americans too, and she didn't know that. She was prejudiced and I don't want to be anything like her.

I have learned to accept cultural diversity. It wasn't always easy because of my background, yet I have learned to shake things off.

The book made me want to be a world traveller. It became my goal in life to travel the world and see as much as I could and learn about the rest of the world. I would get a passport and go everywhere.

When I was seven years old I received a globe for my birthday. I had it for many years. It had ridges on it to show mountain ranges. I liked to spin it and look at it. I wondered what was inside that green mass called the U.S.S.R. and the little spot called West Germany. I randomly asked my teacher how to pronounce "Czechoslovakia". At that age a friend of my teacher's came back from being a teacher in a small island called "Truk" in Micronesia. I loved her slideshow and grass skirts and coconut bowls. I knew I was going to spend some time living in another country.

Since then I did just that. I lived in South Korea from 2005-2006. I returned in 2009. I met up with people from many countries in Korea. They were mostly South Africans and I loved nearly all of them. I met some awesome people from the Philippines, Japan, Australia, the UK, Canada, Nigeria, and New Zealand. I learned how to make clicks in the Xhosa language, read Korean, and more. I travelled around Asia and had extra pages sewn into my passport. I want to keep things like this.

Being Back Home

It was nice to take a break and go home for a while. I left Korea on Dec. 7.  Yet now I am feeling the urgent need to move on. I am going to look for new jobs in Korea. I will also look at study options. I must do it this week. I am not interested in living with my family, even though it will be cheaper. I am almost 31 years old.  I need to be on my own again.

The Devil in the White City by Erik Larsen

I read this book in 2007 when I traveled to Venezuela. It was a good companion to have on the airplane ride. The book is about the 1893 World's Fair in Chicago.

I never realized how much the fair changed things. Some products were introduced at the fair such as Cracker Jacks, Juicy Fruit Gum, Aunt Jemima's Pancake mix, and the hamburger was introduced to the USA. I found it to be very interesting that a few of the buildings from the fair that stand today are part of the Museum of Science and Industry. I went there in 2000. I didn't know about the history of those buildings until I read the book.

The book is about the World's Fair and also about a series of murders that were committed by a serial killer during the time of the event. He went by many pseudonyms. H.H. Holmes was his most popular one. He came from the East and moved into Chicago where he wasn't known. He was a good con-artist, making business deals with people and later refusing to pay his loans. He had a winning personality and smile that made people do what he wanted them to do. He was a true psycopath because he was so well-liked and friendly, yet also swindling people and killing people mercilessly. He had a hotel built with rooms that were gas chambers. There was a crematorium built in the basement. There may have been 200 victims of his killing spree, yet the real number has been lost to history.

One very interesting thing about the fair is that those who constructed the buildings and gardens for the fair were popular landscapers and architects of the day. The landscaper was Olmstead, who had set the plans for Central Park in New York City.

This book gave me an idea of life in the 1890s, that were known as "The Gay Nineties". I never knew how much this World's Fair changed things forever. I also was interested in the landscaping of Olmstead. It made me appreciate Central Park more. He had an eye for untamed nature, and the park is an area of some wild beauty in the middle of the city.

Andrew Wakefield is a Fraud

The anti-vaccine debate is something that has been raging for over a decade.  The debate started in 1998 when British doctor Andrew Wakefield published a study that said vaccines may cause autism in toddlers.  The result was that millions of parents refused to vaccinate their children, decided to space vaccines out, or also selectively vaccinate their children.  The result was that many children were sickened by vaccine-preventable diseases and some died.  There were people who were vaccinated and came down with the illnesses because their vaccines weren't enough to give them full immunity.  Some diseases that were almost non-existant in some areas made comebacks among those unvaccinated populations.
This anti-vaccine debate boils my blood.  First, the risks of vaccinating are low.  They are so low that in fact, when someone does have a reaction to a vaccine, doctors are not sure if the vaccine caused the distress or something else.  Even then, the risk of getting the infectious disease is far worse with not vaccinating than to worry about a reaction to the shot.  Not vaccinating is a deadly choice because vaccinations have saved billions of lives.
One reason why there is the vaccine debate is because the current generation of parents has forgotten the history of vaccinating.  Up to the turn of the 20th century, many children died before the age of five years due to childhood diseases.  Measles, Mumps, Pertussis (Whooping Cough), Scarlet Fever, and others were things that nearly every family dealt with.  The Polio outbreak of the 1950s sent thousands of children into iron lungs, sometimes for life.  Jonas Salk was hailed as a hero when he made the Polio vaccine.
Do we really want to go back to having those childhood diseases?  Some parents these days have gone as far as to purposely expose their children to diseases.  Grassroots efforts have started "Measles Parties" and even "Flu Parties" where people will bring their healthy children into contact with sick children because they think getting the disease will benefit their kids somehow.  They think getting a disease will help their children's immune systems to get a "workout".
Now, there is no proof at all that vaccines cause autism.  Andrew Wakefield worked with a dozen cases and it has been proven that he has tweaked the results in order for it to look like autism was caused by vaccines.  It is a coincidence that autism symptoms show up when a child has their vaccines because both happen in toddlerhood.
Unfortunately, it will still take years for this debate to be cleaned up, because there are still some people who think that vaccinations are unhealthy.  Those people have been hindering the eradication of many diseases from the public sphere. I do hope that the unmasking of this fraud will make those parents wake up to the reality that vaccines need to be given to children.
This isn't the only time a fraud has caused such a stir.  Piltdown Man ruined many careers in paleontology.  There are still people who are blaming vaccines for Rheumatoid Arthritis, Diabetes, Pervasive Development Disorder (PDD), and Fibromyalgia.  It will take much more research to convince some people that they should vaccinate.  At least there has been more research directed at autism, that is one good thing about this.

The Gifted Adult by Mary-Elaine Jacobsen

The issues of adults with intellectual giftedness are something that isn't brought up often among psychological circles. Giftedness in child development is something that is talked about, yet still isn't addressed enough. After all, only a small part of the population is gifted. It is an important topic because people with giftedness have unique needs. They are often misunderstood. Many gifted people have heightened sensitivities, emotions, drive, imagination, and creativity. Having relationships with other gifted individuals is essential so they can have people with whome to relate.



I decided to read this book so I can understand myself better. I know I was an outsider in school. I was one of the students with good grades and never joined any groups. I was a non-conformist and I never felt that I was like the other students. I often didn't know what to talk about when they talked about things. I just didn't find their topics to be interesting. Of course I got picked on for being different.



When I was seven years old a box of World Book encyclopedias arrived in my classroom. During that schoolyear I often look up random things in them. I liked reading about different countries, people, diseases, etc. I read books on plants, geography, the human body, and outer space. My mother was studying to be a nurse and I skimmed her nursing texbooks. I could name many bones and organs in the body. The following year I learned how to play piano and I played it very well. I didn't feel limited in anything except maths. In high school I was a member of the National Honor Society and I was in the Honors Core when at Andrews University.



Jacobsen's book said that giftedness is more than just an I.Q. score. Having done some research on I.Q., giftedness is generally defined by someone having an I.Q. of 130 or higher. Gifted programmes in schools often require that minimum score of 130. Mensa, the high I.Q. society, requires a Stanford-Binet score of 132 or higher and 148 on the Cattell. The problem with I.Q. testing, is that intelligence can't always be measured by a test alone. It makes a good guess of someone's intelligence, but each test has a margin of error. I.Q. testing can have 15 points in deviation. Jacobsen says that giftedness is about creativity and asking questions instead of just answering them.



There were a few chapters dedicated to common criticisms of gited individuals. Some of those are: "Can't You Just Stick With One Thing?" and "Where Do You Get Those Wild Ideas?". Having many interests and having trouble focusing on just one interest is a problem I have had. I am often very restless and move from task to task easily. Being very curious is something I haven't grown out of. It's normal behaviour for us gifted people. The best answer is "yes, I have many interests and I like to explore new ideas". Thinking outside the box is also a gifted trait. Nonconformity is something that gifted people exhibit because they prefer to be independent thinkers. That sets them apart. History has many very intelligent people who were criticised for their ideas, only to have those ideas change the world for the better. Copernicus, Galileo, Edison, and many more were considered to be crazy by the general population.



The need for intellectual stimulation is important. I want to read books and watch movies that are worth my time and not just entertaining. There are some exceptions, yet I prefer watching documentaries, independent films, and historical dramas. I have been reading about neuroscience, botany, physics, and biographies of famous intellectuals.

The theory of multiple intelligences is important. Each person has their own unique strengths and weaknesses. The book had a test on multiple intelligences and I scored highest in naturalistic and linguistic intelligence. That didn't surprise me. I like books and I love nature.



Unfortunately, I have often felt that there is something wrong because of being different. When on a bus in Korea in 2006, my friend Victor said that there was nothing wrong with me at all, and that I was probably more blessed than anyone on the bus. I didn't forget that. He added that I need to remember that to whom much is given, much is required.

I have had a problem with not staying focused enough. I am used to things coming easily to me, and I haven't always done well because I didn't work hard enough. I do want to change that. I want to learn taekwondo at a Korean dojang within a few weeks. I also want to start graduate school soon. I do want to live up to my potential and work hard for what I want to accomplish.

Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnosis of Gifted Children and Adults

By James T. Webb, Edward R. Amend, Nadia E. Webb, Jean Goerss, Paul Belian, Richard Olenchak

This book is a very interesting book about the subject of intellectual giftedness. It is about how gifted people often get misdiagnosed with disorders such as Bipolar, AD/HD, Asperger's, and Obsessive Compulsive. It also mentions how gifted people can have these disorders along with their giftedness. Psychologists are realizing now that gifted traits can mimic certain disorders because of the overexcitabilities and drive of people of high intelligence. Gifted individuals with learning disabilities and other psychiatric disorders are known as "twice exceptional" and they are a challenging group of people to understand.

I have noticed that many children are diagnosed with ADD or ADHD and and many other disorders. They are being put on drugs like Ritalin at a high rate. Many of these children are very bright kids. I wonder how many of them really neeed that medication. History has many geniuses who were terrible students. Benajamin Franklin, Thomas Edison, and Albert Einstein and others like them did poorly in grade school because they resisted authority and daydreamed a lot. Yet they were geniuses.

It is interesting that many characteristics of giftedness mimic AD/HD.



Some characteristics of AD/HD:

Poor attention span

Restlessness, changes activities often, hyperactivity

Dislikes mundane activities

Impulsive

May appear inattentive to details



Some characteristics of gifted students who are bored:

Daydreaming when bored

Bored when tasks are considered mundane or irrelevant

Begin many projects and then don't complete them

High activity level, may need less sleep

Resist authority



I found it interesting that those characteristics overlap so much. It must be true that many people with the AD/HD are actually gifted students that are bored with school because they are not being challenged enough.



Intellectual giftedness creates a drive within people to persue things they find interesting. There are also overexcitabilities such as heightened emotions, more sensitivity to light and touch, and sensitivity to criticism. Those issues have caused some to be misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and Asperger's Syndrome.



When people are thought to have certain disorders, they need a full assessment to make sure that they actually have the disorder. They also need to have an evaluation on how they perform in various settings. If the person does need special treatment for a disorder, it shouldn't be overlooked. We can't say giftedness is a reason for things either, unless we are sure that it's there.

Names for Plants

Some  names I thought would be great for hybrid plants if I were a botanist:

Ice Princess, Snow Queen, Emerald City, Kaitlin, Gracie, Zephyr, Shianna, Shayla, Desert Queen, Taehan, Jinju, Paek-Jangmi, Cham Sarang, Cloud's Silver Lining, Pink Frosting, Villanelle, Moonbow, Po Eun, Cheyenna, Georgia O'Keefe, Angeline Grace, Sugarplum Fairy, Boston, Geumgansan,  Baekdusan, Jet Black, Tharaya, Dali, Picasso, Sheena, Silver/Gold Jubilee, Mulled Cider, Pot of Gold, Ariel, Silver Bells, April Showers, Double Rainbow, Philos, Aristotle, Lauralee, Christmas Candy, Clear Joy, Confetti, Sepia, Peaceful Breeze, Zephyra, Zephaniah, Crystalline...

Why I Want to Be a Drifter

I have had old friends and family members in the United States asking me when I'm going to stay in the country and settle.  They see my wanting to live in other countries to work and explore as "immature" and think I need to get a "real" job and be "stable".  I know what they think would be best for me: a great job where I can make lots of money and have prestige, a house with a big yard, a few children with names like Mackenzie and Aidan, and a golden retriever.  A bonus would be a white picket fence and a SUV.  It is considered "success" to fit into the typical suburban lifestyle and have lots of things people will envy.
I have decided to opt out of the "American Dream".  I have realized it's not worth it to chase after it.  Having a home would be nice, but that would also mean having to pay a mortgage and keeping the home up.  I would like to own a home, yet it's not something necessary.  I also don't want to have a job that's boring just so I can make a lot of money.  If I really need the job, then of course I will keep it until I can find something better.  Yet I am not going to be a drone so that I can really live after I retire.
I had always dreamed of traveling.  When I was a child I had a book called Children Around the World that featured different countries of the world and had pictures of children or dolls in their native costumes.  There were essays on each country and some songs, recipes, and words from various languages. I spent hours pouring over that small book.  For my seventh birthday I received a globe with bumps for the mountain ranges of the world.  I loved looking at it and imagining myself in each country.  I knew that one day I would live in another country.
I have always enjoyed travel literature. I have been a fan of National Geographic since I could read.  Other children in my classroom were learning to read their primers and I was collecting National Geographics.  I remember one article I read on Pompeii, and the cover had a skeleton wearing bracelets.  I remember reading about the finding of the Titanic and peering at the rusted windows of the vacant vessel.  When I was seven, my classroom received a set of World Book encyclopedias and I spent hours of my free time pouring over the volumes to learn about other places and times.
I finally made my dream come true when I went to teach English in Korea in 2005.  I could have left a few years earlier, yet I listened to my family and took more college classes. My mother thought I would be a great dental hygienist because it is a "good job" and "in demand" and I would make "good money".  I am glad I left.
Even though the job wasn't always easy, I am glad I traveled. 
I know that as long as I am working to make money or studying, living abroad doesn't have to be a dead end. I can opt for the road less traveled, even though it may be rough and I may have criticism, I can do it. I have thought of living in Thailand, South Africa, New Zealand, United Arab Emirates, etc.  I am leaving my options open. I may not know where I will be in five years, but I want to be where I am happy and being independent.